How can you not LOVE Fridays?! (I know it’s not Friday anymore, but I had time yesterday... until I got stuck in Stargate Atlantis’ Puddle Jumper set for the rest of the afternoon)
Not that I don't love life on Atlantis, but by the end of the week my sad little brain has been filled with just about as much geek speak as this nerd can take! Fridays mean that I've got nothing to learn for tomorrow which means I get to chat properly with the cast and crew and read (wait for it…) non-Stargate related material...which these days means anything about film: film cameras, film directing film production, film distribution...what can I say...I read the manuals...I am a dull, dull man.
Entirely off topic…Funniest thing I've come across recently is about this guard dog in England that went berserk and maimed an entire collection of irreplaceable teddy bears. Apparently a security service was hired by the exhibits' insurance company to guard the priceless teddy bears which are worth over a million dollars (so, not exactly "priceless" then are they Mr. Hewlett?!) The insurance company even insisted on the guard! Turns out the highly trained doberman got jealous of Elvis Presley's teddy bear and tore it to pieces. Then the murderous mutt gets “fluff lust” from his first teddy victim and goes psycho, taking out the rest of the irreplaceable teddies in the process. I was laughing so hard...the image of that poor guard coming in to find the Doberman with a “who me?” look on its slobbery Doberman face…surrounded by millions of dollars of teddy arms and legs and bear stuffing everywhere...Something very “Dog's Breakfast” about the whole thing.
Let me put this out there…if you get a second, post the funniest dog related news or outlandish mutt’s misadventure and maybe I’ll pick a few faves for us all to laugh about! Maybe I’ll make it an on-going “feature” on the “Dog’s Blog”.
Big 200th SG1 party tonight…may even have to break out the suit I’ve been given from an upcoming Atlantis episode…an episode that you are going to completely freak out about…nuff said! (I really am evil!)
G’night!
posted by David @ 4:19 PM
63 comments
63 Comments:
Yay! another entry!
LOL...yeah I read that story about the guard dog. I think the newspaper headline was blue suede chews :D
Don't have any funny dog stories that I can think of off hand, apart from if you mention the word 'cat' to my dog, she goes absolutely beserk! Other than that she's just a grumpy old lady!
I don't have a dog, but I have cats who love to tear to shreads all my stuff. I got this little toy cow for my cat, Saussie, several years ago, and she never played with it. A few months ago, it still looked brand-new. I got a new kitten, Rasputin, who loves the cow. And, now, the cow is basically dead (along with a shower curtain and a couple rolls of toilet paper). I have funny cat stories and funny human stories, but I don't have any funny dog stories at this moment in time.
But if you want to read something more exciting-- er, dull than "How to make a movie in under 100 steps," I can recommend all my HR manuals.
My dog Sally was a card. She used to do the weirdest things and it was hilarious. I remember many a time where she would be so excited about running after a ball or something and she'd run head first into a fence, then pick up and act like nothing had happened. She actually did that off of a dock once and tripped right of the edge because she was so excited.
But the funniest thing she ever did was when a family friend was walking her and she decided she wanted to get to the park now. So she too off and he ended being literally dragged by a black lab puppy down a road and across a field until they reached the park. It was priceless.
Ooh, cute pooch pic :)
I'm trying to crack my head about any funny stories I can think of!
Hmm, there was this time when we took Cosmo (our mini Schnauzer) to the beach with some friends. He doesn't like swimming and is kinda scared of the sea but he'd go into the the water just to be near me and my friends, which I thought was just the sweetest thing.
It got to the point that we could make the little guy swim in circles just by moving about and I just loved watching him do his little doggie paddle.
Ok, not funny at all...
Nice to read about your ongoings - I hope you find a nice outfit for the 200th party! And yes, we're all looking forward to upcoming eps of McKay. :)
Nothing news related, but my sister's dog likes coffee... I once gave him my empty Starbucks cup and he tore it to shreds to get to the last drops in the bottom.
Hiya David,
I have to agree with you, Fridays are a wonderful time of the week..lol.
I have had dogs my whole life, so I have quite a few dog stories, but most of them you kinda had to be there for. I actually just got a new pup about 8 months ago. She's half shepherd, half golden retriever. She's a genius. I used to call her my little McKay. Right now she's staring at me with her ball at her feet. So time to go play with the puppy.
Love the blog David. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy days to share with us all.
*waves from New Hampshire*
That is officially the cutest dog pic :)
As for a dog story, mine only revolves around large quanitites of ice cream. As kidlets my friends and I decided it would be the greatest idea to purchase one of those huge buckets of ice cream that actually have a handle so you can carry it home. Anyway after only getting though a litre or so we concured that the best idea was to leave it for the dog to knock the rest off because it wouldn't fit in the freezer. We felt sick and I'm sure the dog did too.
A man who reads instruction manuals. I don't know whether to be impressed or disturbed. ;o)
I wonder if that Elvis bear was carrying a miniature peanut butter and banana sandwich. Maybe the dog was just hungry. *ponders* I can imagine that moment of horrid discovery - when all time stops and you know you're doomed. God I hate those moments!
When I was a kid we had a toy poodle (who thought she was a cat). When we gave her a bath she looked like a drowned rat! Of course we'd laugh and I swear she got embarrassed because she would hide under the couch until you got on your hands and knees and begged her to come out.
Mars looks very cute with his pet frog. I hope you enjoyed your party. Can't wait to see you in the suit. Best Wishes!
Ok, this is sort of a cat and dog combo story. I posted a bit about it earlier on another comment section. Let me elaborate a little more about my experience. I am sure someone will get a good laugh from my misery; I can even laugh about it now.
I decided to let my daughter adopt another kitty from the shelter. A spur of the moment decision that I am notorious for making which always seems to bite me in the… well you know ;) except this one literally bit me. We made our choice, paid the fees and even stopped by the pet store to buy this new kitty a collar and name tag before we even got home with her. I foolishly made the choice to carry her to the door instead of putting her into the box that we had just purchased to bring her home in. I had 2 daschunds at the time, Jake and Piper. I decided to introduce them to each other. As I sat down on the front step I should have realized this was not a bright idea when the cat began to struggle a little. I thought that I was safe since I had both its front and back paws securely held, I just forgot about her head. Both of the dogs sort of ran towards us which scared the poor kitty. Oh let me add this before it gets to the funniest part. When I got out of the car, I left the keys in the ignition and the door key is on the same key ring. All of the sudden that cat went berserk on me which made the dogs go nuts. They were trying to get to her and I was pushing them back with my foot. Both of my kids were laughing at me, not lending any help at all. You know how you can hold a cat by its neck hide and it sort of paralyzes it? WRONG! That’s a handy little piece of information to have. Nothing affected this cat. All she could focus on was those dogs and getting away. I knew that I could not let her go. I was already bleeding with numerous bites and scratches all over my hands and legs. If I had of let her go she would have been long gone and I would have to get those dreaded rabies shots. Here I was standing in the yard with this hell cat tearing my hands up, the dogs were barking at us and both my kids were about rolling on the ground laughing at me. By now I was screaming for someone to get the door open but no one knew where the keys were. I finally made it into the house. I fell to my knees just as I released my grip on the cat. It’s strange how you don’t feel real pain when you are in a situation like that. I could feel that cat biting me and I knew that I was in trouble but it did not really hurt, until I let her go and seen all the damage that she did. I ended up going to the ER for antibiotics and a tetanus shot. The kids compared that cat to the tazmanian devil from the Bugs Bunny cartoons. I still to this day do not know why my dogs went after her like they did. That experience ended up costing me several hundred bucks and about a week of misery. I could not even bend my fingers for over a week. The shelter was kind enough to let us swap that hell kitty for a younger, much nicer kitten that got along well with my dogs. I know that this is more of a cat story but if it wasn’t for the dogs, the cat would have had no need to turn me into a human pin cushion.
Here is a mug shot of both the culprits responsible. Of course they look so innocent.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v282/tammy72/Misc/PJ.jpg
On another note, the 200th SG1 was funny. We all got a good laugh from it. SGA was fantastic as always. The only thing that would have made it even better would have been more Rodney. ;)
Keep up the awesome work David.
Sending you much love and admiration.
Tammy
I don't own a dog personally, but I borrowed my parents' dog while they were away on vacation for a week once. Boy, I am never going to offer again, I'm afraid. I walked him every 3 or 4 hours constantly, but he still urinated all over my apartment and managed to one day poo on the floor and somehow ended up sitting on it. Now, unfortunately, I'm not really sure if I want a dog of my own or not. Maybe once I buy a house with a big back yard... I love my kitty, though, and her only flaws are that she wakes me up too early and likes to jump up on the table and randomly knock stuff on the floor.
*grins* So that was the deal with the Elvis bear. I only caught the tail end of the newscast and missed what happened. Of course when I hear that I think the dog has very good taste. I mean, he didn't go after say a gift shop item. Oh, no. He's smart and goes for the irreplaceable sorts. My kinda pup right there. Plus, you know that stupid teddy bear was giving the poor dog the evil eye every time he went by. I mean, how could anyone take that kind of abuse.
And I like that "I didn't do it!" image of the Dobie (I just wanna give the dog lots of hugs. What? I like the tough, manly breeds. Screw the T-cup anythings. I want the big, loud wooofing dogs). I've known enough dogs with that "who me" look. *snort* Most were given by Fred, former dog I used to see at work. Dumber than a sack of rocks. The less than intelligent mutt jumped out of a moving Jeep (while he was attached to one of those doggie carseat leash thingies) and managed to not break a single bone. Of course, the Jeep was only going 20 mph, but still. Moving car. Dumb dog.
In an unrelated incident that happened a couple days earlier, good ol' Fred got so excited, jumped around in the big dog cages (about 5 feet by 10 feet wide, brick wall about 3 feet high and then just chainlink) while being daysat that he broke the chainlink cage door and cut his back paw. The door wouldn't latch right after that, at all. Fred was...unique. And big. Towered over me on his hindlegs, then again he was a bluetick coonhound. Actually, Fred might be more amusing if you ever met the silly mutt. Nice dog, just dead stupid. Of course, he was in the human equivalent teen years, too.
Also? Marsy's pic? Adorable. I had to stare at a minute. I swear, put a cute animal pic up and I'm happy for hours, and it eclipsed all other news shared. And that froggy is the same one my dad got either Hoover (oh! There's a better story. I'll explain Hoove in a minute.) or Molly (stepmom's dog). *grins* PetsMart. *grins* Plus, for a second there, I thought the wall socket thingy was actually a price tag and you were selling the pup.
Okay, so Hoover. They think Hoover is a German Shepard/Welsh Corgi mix. Hoover was taken someplace (I've never been clear if it was a vet's office or animal control) to be killed at a day old since he was an unwanted result. Well, the ones asked to do the deed couldn't, so they took him to a rescue. He was given the name Hoover because when they would feed him, the little dear would hold on to the bottle like the vacuum. Daddy adopted him when Hoover was about..four months, maybe a little older. They've had him for goodness nearly 10 years now. It's so funny to see him sit on those short Corgi back legs, colored liked a Sheppard and with a Sheppard's face but Corgi body type. I just love his name. I haven't heard of another dog named with his story.
You know, the more amusing dog stories I know involve the humans more. Pet owners are a trip. Says the owner of a cat, two gerbils (which actually scare the cat when you let her smell them), and since I live with my mom, a crotchety elderly pug who thinks she's a cat half the time.
::dead from giggle...just...*dead*::
I had a dog that could open the fridge, it used to eat the butter...but that's not funny...
I will go away now...
Glad to see another post from you :)
and I highly doubt your dull!
All the best :)
Whenever I think about dogs my mind automatically goes straight to the Dog Whisperer. Caser Millan. Oh man that guy is batshit crazy. I totally dislike dogs, but I will balls out sit on the couch and watch that guy talk about being the "leader of the pack" and the "dominant one". There was this one episode where the dog was afraid of linoleum floors and went totally berserk whenever it went near them. Or that dog that had a fixation with rocks. If I already didn't like dogs I think this show would make me weary of ever owning a dog. Plus my mom's dog ate my shoe once. I am still mad about that.
I think reading camera manuals is a lot less sad than reading kitchen appliance manuals. Being perceived as a sad person is better than getting woken up by the loudest microwave known to mankind.
It's funny that teddy bears of all things could be worth millions of dollars. I think that dog deserves a medal.
Heee! Dogs are absolutely amazing! I've been around them almost my entire life, and couldn't imagine life without them. My own dog, Latte (a chocolate lab), is the sweetest thing on the planet! But I guess every dog owner says that about their own. ;)
I think one of the cutest memories, though, doesn't have anything to do with my own dog. Instead, it has to do with a whole lot of other people's dogs! Throughout college I worked at SeaWorld where, among other things, I played Shamu. On occasion, a group of 20 or so local guide dog trainers would bring their puppy trainees to the park, as a way to expose them to new and unusual environments - what better place for that than a theme park, where unusual is often an understatement? And I can't think of anything much more unusual to a dog than a 7-foot-tall dancing costume character whale. So they'd stop each time and let the dogs meet Shamu. Their reactions ran the gamut from trying to chew on the costume to hiding behind their owners to complete ignorance. And on one quieter day, they all gathered around and got a huge group picture of all the dogs and their handlers with Shamu. To this day, I wish I had a copy of that!
*headdesk* You know, sleepy people should not be allowed on the internet until they can spell a breed's name properly, and not a character's name. That would Shephard. Though, at least, I've been mispelling it the wrong way since I learned how to write, and not since I started watching SGA.
I have to say I'm very suprised to see another entry so soon on your blog!! Nice!!! I completely love animals and alway have some corky stories about my own border collie who I live with (noted that I live with her, she doesn't live with me, she has completely taken over the house, including a recently made race track through out the house called "the doggy 500" that she has developed over time.
That or we play Find Waldo with her toy box full of toys (over 200 of the and still counting).... Spoiled you might say??? Yes but shes my baby... If you ever get a few minutes, you should check out my blog (click the link on the pic) and I have some of her 'famous mug shots'up... And yes the famous "Wheres Waldo" picture is there where we are in search for Waldo while all her toys are around her!! Can you tell I love my pup!!
Sorry...for getting off subject!! Great to see you keeping your blog alive!! Keep it up and fill us in... It's always great to hear for you and Mars!!!!
A dog story? Well, for years I used to work as a volunteer at our local animal shelter. One day a new volunteer was asked to give a pill to a German Shepherd. When she came back from her mission she was looking pale. Apparently she'd thought it was a good idea to offer the pill in a bit of food on a spoon. 'I always do it like that for my kids...' she said. Only they didn't usually swallow the pill spoon and all, which the dog had.
It wasn't so funny for the dog, which had to have surgery to get the spoon out, but I'm afraid us volunteers had a good laugh about it at the time.
Heya, David. :) You've probably seen this before, as it's been something of a web classic since 1999, but the fabulously horrible tale of Dogs in Elk remains one of the funniest things I have ever, ever read. Talk about adding another skeleton to the closet...
With best wishes to you, Jane, and Mars of the Restored Dignity,
Em
Unfortunately, I don't have any good dog stories, unless you count my grandmother's blind toy poodle that used to jump up on the counter to eat cookies, so I'll offer a link to the Dog News Blog, http://radio.weblogs.com/0107233/, but if you ever need a good ferret and telemarketer story, I'll be sure to contribute.
Oh I love this blog! Yeah, I can see it already: "David Hewlett - Dog stories" :)
Personally I never owned a dog. I got bitten by one when I was about four, wasn't serious but I was scared of dogs afterwards. Took me years to be able not to change the streetside when a dog was coming towards me. Today I'm not that afraid anymore, but I never had much contact to dogs, but I guess I'd get used to one pretty quickly. And my boyfriend always says he definitely wants to have a dog later, best a German Shepard or a Golden Retriever (yeah, and I want a dishwasher, a baby and one million cash, but do I get what I want? Nooo...), so I guess you could say there's a dog in my future.
I have one dog story that is rather creepy - when my Dad was a little boy he had a little black dog called Topsy. He loved this dog so much, and when the dog died he was buried in our garden. A few years ago we decided to make a pond in our garden and when we were digging this nice, big hole, guess what we found? Yeah, dog bones. My Dad was a little disturbed for a few hours...
The funniest dog I've ever seen is the dog of our neighbours. I have no idea what kind of dog that is (small, short legs, hair long and golden), but I know that he's the laziest dog in the world. He never wants to go for a walk. They have to drag him outside, then he takes a step, then he stands still again, looking to the door longingly. When he finally walks he always walks a few steps behind his owner and the leash is always one straight, tense line, and from time to time he refuses to go one more step and pulls backwards, stemming his little legs against the ground - it's too cute! I think they've never been farther away from their house than a few metres. But you should see him when they give up - now he's ahead, running to the door as if dog's paradise is waiting at home! The neighbours say that he lies on the carpet or sofa during the day and when you call him to walk him he just looks at you for a second as if he wants to say "You humans don't get it, right?" and then he just turns around again and ignores you, until his owners come and carry him to the door, afraid that he might start to rust if he never moves. They already contemplated putting him on a skateboard for longer walks because it takes ages to go from one place to another. You always hear them going "We'll put you on wheels, I swear!"
This little fellow amuses everyone in our street greatly. Especially when it's raining. Then he stands in the doorframe with this "are you nuts?" look and you can see that he really doesn't want to get his coat wet. He seems to contemplate if it's really worth the effort to go out there... I love this dog! *g*
Let me say that Mars is definitely one of the cutest dogs I've ever seen - the way he looks on this new photo is simply awww-inducing!
And what I noticed right now while I type here and accidentally spelt the word wrong: Turn the word 'dog' around and you get 'god' - if this means something? Forget cats, dogs rule the world, or something like this? :)
Anyway, thanks for the update and telling us about your Friday evenings! *g* I hope you enjoyed the SG1 party! Is it possible that this suit you mentioned is blue? The blue one definitely looked good in the teaser trailer - although I'm already dreading the mid-season two-parter! And you do nothing to calm me when you talk about possible fan freak outs! Yes, you are a very evil Hewlett! :D
So, despite that up till last year I've never not had a dog, I can think of no particular instances of hilarity. I did have one pup who was just generally funny due to severe personality disorder (or something). He was a Border/ hound cross, and he came to us quite young, at time we had two large dogs (waist high on a grown man large, not german sheppard large). Being the only small one in the family (and being under the mistaken impression he was lap dog small, not oh, husky small), Fudgie developed a serious Napoleon complex. He was obsessed with getting taller any way possible. He would jump into the air so his head (like the other two) was at hand level for ease of petting. He would sit on the dining chairs, at the table. Outside, he spent all his time on the deck, half of that standing on the patio table. I once caught the silly guy trying to stand on his 'brother' Bluey. He was also strangely attracted to fluffy white things (our other dog's fur, kleenexes, stuffing from couches, chairs, blankets etc) and would eat as much as he could get his mouth around, then walk about with a kleenex beard hanging out of the corner of his mouth (that is until he coughed it all up - cat owners think their hairballs are bad! My cats got nothin on Fudge). The cutest of his tics was his separation anxiety, something horrible and irritating for most, but cute to us because he was attached not to us, but to our other dog. He would let loose with very human-like wails if Blue was out of sight and he was unable to follow. Horrible if Blue ran off for a day or two without him, he was inconsolable.
Though I love my (4) cats and (13!) rats dearly, your blog, with it's adorable pic of Mars) is making me wish my apartment weren't way too small to have dogs again.
Oh, thanks for udpate !!
I remember... This summer, I had dinner with some friends of my parents, next to a swimming pool. I was boring and I played with the dog, a little hunting dog, very...well, very like McKay ! The notion of "rest" didn't exist for him ! I lauched a tennis ball to him, and this ball just fly above the swimming pool. This little puppy, instead of waiting for his toy in the other side of the swimming pool, jumped and fall in the water.
I was so embarrassed !
Yeah, I know, not very funny for the dog.
Sory for my poor english, I'm french (from the FFFDH) !
I'm a new fan of the show and am getting one hell of a giggle out of your blog... It's fun to see the human side of the people in the little set in the corner of my living room. *g*
As you can tell by the name, I've had quite a bit of experience with dogs (yes, I have them and yes, I train them), but the funniest story comes from my childhood. We had an afghan hound (beautiful, yet not-so-bright) and a mutt (looked very much like Benji) and my mother (who was more proper than proper) was getting the house ready for a dinner party. She, in a drastic show of terrible judgment, left the dessert tray on the counter in the kitchen (and a beautiful dessert tray it was!). When she came around the corner, she witnessed a show of true canine team-work.
As the Benji-dog directed the show, the afghan was pulling cookies off the tray in a very determined manner - one for Benji, which was dropped on the floor, and then one for her, which was promptly eaten. One for Benji, one for her.
My mother watched this for a minute or two, wondering at the smarts of the little dog, until she realized her dinner party desserts were, in fact, going to the dogs.
Both dogs were in the doghouse for quite a bit with that stunt and the dinner guests got cheese and fruit rather than cookies, but my mother always used that story as an example of how fairness really does exist in mother nature.
Dia dhuit David!
WOOHOO!! another entry!!. there is nothing wrong with reading manuals!!! i read them aswell!! well..im the only one in my family that understands them (ahem).
i remember that story!!hmm funny dog story..hmm..welll the only one i have witnesed.well actually 2 ( i have had an epiphany) was the neighbors dog getting distracted by the gleam of the owners watch and running head first into a concrete bird bath..unfortunately the bath split in half..the dog..unharmed!! and my sisters boyfriends dog chasing a white pvc pipe and forgetting how to stop....
i agree with willow rosenburg..gateworld is drowning in a sea of drool and squee-ing
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v388/SPECIALAGENTT/FUUNY%20STUFF/adogsbeerbreakfast.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v388/SPECIALAGENTT/FUUNY%20STUFF/Funny-Dog-Sign.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v388/SPECIALAGENTT/FUUNY%20STUFF/dumbo-dog.jpg
Whats with all the crazy critters in England? Its like the badger last year that went insane and attacked people so viciously, two policemen were called in. They then had to be rescued from the roof of their car where they had to take refuge from the badger. That still makes me laugh. Good times.
But really. I think mad cow has jumped the species barrier. Again.
*klo*
Hello, David! Hope you had a great time at the Stargate 200 party.
Funny dog stories. Hm. Well, last spring, my dog -- a Pekingese/poodle mix -- was out in the yard doing.. whatever it is dogs do in the yard to enterain themselves. Suddenly we hear barking and rustling and this really bizarre squeaking and rush outside. She had chased a bunch of baby bunnies out of their nest. A couple of them fell in the pool and the rest were making this chirping sound I had no idea rabbits made. Wesaved the bunnies from the pool and set them on the deck to dry. My dog got right up to them and started sniffing, but since they were too scared to move, they weren't so interesting to her anymore. She decided that looked like a good place to lay down for some sun too and plopped down next to them. I have photos somewhere in the mess that is my HD.
And that is the boringest story ever...
That bit about the dog and the million dollar teddy bears was hilarious. Wish I had some funny dog stories to share but I don't.
Looking forward to the rest of Atlantis season 3 and seeing A Dog's Breakfast in full.
another dog story:
one morning our neighbours called my mother at her work because our dog Virus was in their living room!
Virus had had the fantastic idea to eat the metal fence between our two houses to look for company. and he managed to! we had to fix the fence but our beloved dog began eating it again and got to the neighbours' once more... in the end, we totally changed the fence for a brand new one. he tried but couldn't destroy this one (at least, he hasn't yet!)
if you want more anecdotes about Virus, no problem... ;-)
another funny dog thing...
We'd always had carpets until a couple of years ago, when we opted for laminate flooring. At the time our dog Sophie was still full of energy. We took her out for a walk while the fitter put down the flooring, but when we took her back home...it was the funniest thing.
She came charging in the front door and immediately started scuffling and falling everywhere. She looked like she was trying to tap dance or something! For a couple of years she turned it into a sport, jumping off of her chair (yes she has her own armchair) before skidding across the floor! She used to go head first into the radiators and the computer table, but she was always completely unfazed!
Suit you say? Can't wait :D
And of course, if you want to share photos of this party then by all means go ahead :D
Suz, Scotland
silly puppy story: one of c's friends visited her for a while with her puppy a long time ago. during the day when they were not home the puppy was on a lead in the back yard attached to the clothesline so he could run around about half the yard and not dig up the rest of it or eat things that are not good for puppies.
c's friend taught him to jump thru a hoop and he loved it and would get very excited whenever the hula hoop came out. he learned to just jump high thru the air if they said "hoop!" too.
one day they did not put the hula hoop far enough away from him, and that night they found him sitting on the lawn with one giant pink striped wing sprouting from his back. he had jumped thru the hoop over and over until most of the lead was wrapped around it, and he was SO pleased with himself. he ran up and down along the clothesline with the hula hoop bouncing against his back. someplace we have a picture of him grinning his big puppy grin with the hula hoop still on him. they did not forget to put it up after that though!
he was a australian sheppard and very very smart. he loved to herd everything, even joggers and other dogs and cats.
*facepalm* I am having one of those "I JUST threw that away" moments. When I originally read that story about the not-so-great guard dog it reminded me of a similar story from a few years ago.
I wish I could lay my hands on the clipping...but basically there had been a series of thefts from a manufacturing plant in Germany. They couldn't understand how things were disappearing, as the counts would be fine at the end of shift and then, come morning, inventory was missing.
With hidden cameras, they finally figured out that their guard dog really liked the shiny, metal thingambobs (how's that for technical details...) they manufactured. The guard dog had been playing with them, carrying them around in his mouth and eventually burying them all over the property. I think it took them a few months with metal detectors and they still never found all the missing items.
Friday's are definitely the best thing ever. When you don't end up having to work weekends that is:)
Hee! The image of the dog and the poor massacred teddy bears is adorable and I wish I had a fun dog story to share, but the cutest things that happen to me these days usually involve my niece and nephew. Though the sheer enjoyment that comes from hearing my four year old niece saying phalanges cannot be expressed in words. She's four! And she knew what it meant!
I do so hope that you had fun at the party. Hugs and kisses to you and the gang.
Not a dog story unfortunately, but I can report that my downstairs toilet exploded yesterday and emergency callout of a plumber was 120 quid.
On my birthday.
It's funny now...
Bonjour!!!
huh no Hello!! sorry.
Oh I know I'm a millstone around the world's neck... I wonder In France (yesss I m french, I didn't change my nationality since the last time)when we say a stupidity like that we write next to it *boulet* which means what I say before, but in England, USA, Canada, Australia.... Do we act like that, Do I have to put "ball" or "millstone" between *stars*.
By speaking of this subject, a lot of fans think that Pete Shanahan is a millstone around Sam's and everybody's neck, infact. So I wonder, What does McKay think about pete?? Personnaly, I like this guy very much!! Even before David DeLuise came in a french convention.
Now the subject of your article: dogs!!!! Arghhhh I'm affraid of this pet. One day when I was young and innocent I even made a "100 meter" and jump a ditch to escape from a dog which wished only to play with me.
But I've to say that this story with teddy bears is very funny!!! (I'm also affraid of teddy bears... No!I'm laughing *ball*)
Poor teddies... dying in this conditions. I'll make one minute of silence for their souls...
And the picture now... It's your dog, isn't it?? he's very sweety on the photo...and he has beautiful looking.
"t'as de beaux yeux tu sais"
Is it eating a turtle?? Is it your turtle when you were younger?? *ball*
Well now,the episode 200.... I have to wait that it comes in France, in one year!! *cry* But I saw some extract and it seems to be very very funny.
Yesterday I watched "Duet" in VO (OV??) and I've to say that sometimes I didn't understand what you said because you spoke so quick for my little brain and my knowledges in english. So It's a piece of advice (not a order, far of me this idea!), last time when you'll play, speak calmly, pleaseeee for the frenchs!! You can do that? *ball* But you stay a great actor, and I still like your performances in this episode....
See you!!
Liloow (member of the FFFDH *ball*)
Hey David
The only dog story I know is one that happened with our neighbours dog (an alsatian) and our cat (a big male tabby). We were talking with our neighbours over the fence, (which was wire, and separated our garden from their field, in which they kept horses.) Their dogs were hanging round and Tabby (our cat) came over and wander round while we talked. Next think we know there's a yelp from Bracken (the alsatian)...Tabby clearly feeling superior had smacked Bracken right in the nose with his paw.....and claws. Guess Tabby had decided to establish he was boss!
Hope the 200th party was good (was there cake?) and looking forward to seeing the suit (is the freaking out obligatory?)
Take Care
J
PS liking the themed pic, for the post!
Just a precision: when I wrote the other commentary I wasn't under drug or alcohol influence... I want it to be clear.
Sorry everybody ^^
Well, I don't currently live with dogs (I refuse to use the word "own" when it comes to canines), but when I was a kid growing up in Ontario (yes, we're everywhere aren't we?), my family occasionally raised wired-haired fox terriers, which are quite insane.
Among the most interesting antics I remember, was this one summer when we had a litter of 5 and, ironically, a two-man pup tent set up in the corner of our enormous yard. One evening they all decided it would be great fun to run into the side of the tent at full speed and bounce off at odd angles, usually landing on their backs or their heads. Then they'd get up, run the circumference of the yard, then lined up at the corner opposite the tent (they actually queued up) waited until the pup in front cleared, and made another run at the tent. We were stunned watching it, but we eventually put a stop to it because we were afraid they would get hurt. I have no idea how they figured it out, or how they got so well organized - it was just amazing.
That dog just ensured employment for several tailors, who will be occupied with restitching and restuffing those teddies for the next...let's say, year. So, all hail the doggie for single-pawedly lowering unemployment in the UK.
Dog stories? I have no dogs, and thus no dog stories. I do have a pet story, though, if that works for you.
My daughter is now two and a half. When I put her to bed, she's supposed to stay there and sleep...and she used to. But now, she gets up (thinking she's doing this in secret, but I have "mom hearing", so I can hear her) and goes into my room. She hops up on our bed where the ancient cat is sleeping, and proceeds to "read" Dr. Seuss books to the cat.
I'm not quite sure if the cat appreciates the books. I've asked her, but she refuses to answer.
Had a dog named Punk a few years back, and believe me, the name fit. He was a black and white Springer Spaniel shelter 'bargain'. Bargain turned out to mean the boy had more spring than brains.
Over time I'd ended up with a medium sized Piranha glued to a wooden pedestal. Hopefully more last-minute vacation gift, less subliminal message, but I rather liked 'Harry', for whatever reason.
One evening Punk took a fancy to Harry the Piranha and ate him. Yes, the whole thing; pointy fins, teeth and all. I only ever found was one glass eye and the partly chewed pedestal.
I waited and watched to see if it even produced a bellyache, but he bounded around as usual so I figured he wasn't due a call to the vet. He later chewed a go-cart to bits, and became fast friends with the neighbor's giant pot-bellied pig, Grumpy. I still believe they sat side-by-side at the fence and plotted Pinky-and-the-Brain style for how to take over the neighborhood. It seemed for quite some time whenever Grumpy escaped to terrorize the streets (at a slow, waddling trot) Punk was right there with him.
Then there was Joe the Schnauzer, who got into a bag of Hershey's Kisses - I know chocolate is supposed to be toxic to dogs, but apparently not this dog, because he had a knack for finding the sweets and sneaking off with them. I didn't realize what he'd done (and that he'd eaten them whole) until my back yard was glittering with a million little bits of foil a few days later.
I was recently 'adopted' by a stray puppy, so I suppose more stories are to come.
And guess the moral to the story is not to leave dogs unattended. Or in the company of pigs.
Hi!
~snigger~ That's classic.
And hey with the teasing! Getting me worried.
The funniest doggy story I can think of is my friend's old dog. After a small gathering of people had dispersed for the night, she cracked her way into several cans of beer and drank the lot. The next morning this normally bouncy, waggy-talied mutt had such a hangover, she refused to get out of her basket and growled at anyone that got close.
On another occasion she polished off an entire saucepan full of curry. She was banished outside for rest of the day due to some pretty horrific smells. Urk.
When he was a mere pup, My own dog, Indy, who is a black Lab, attacked an entire twelve-roll pack of peach coloured toilet paper while I was at work. I dunno if you have the Andrex adverts where you are, but in the UK, the poster dog is this cute Yellow Lab pup that delicately drapes loo roll everywhere. And could my baby have done that? No. I came home to an entire living room covered in shredded peach coloured bog-roll. It was like a terrible snow storm with the Anti-Christ of puppies sitting in the middle of it all. I swear he was grinning, the little bugger. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
And this was after he chewed the stairs, the door, the kitchen door frame, pulled up the kitchen vinal, the living room carpet, ripped the sofa cusions in half and ate my ex's Playstation2 memory card. Whoops. A years worth of gaming down the drain. I still love him, though. The dog, that is ;o)
Loving SGA.
Suki
xxx
Thanks for the update. Hope you have fun at the 200 party. If the suit is the blue one from the mid season ep, it goes with your eyes.
Read that story in The Sun, didn't find it funny. When we got our puppy i had hundards of teddys in my room, now i have one. I know the feeling of having it done and it aint pretty. I can't image how i'd feel if they were worth so much but one was from my old boyfriend and was the first (any only) valentine gift i every had. Wouldn't dream of every putting a dog down for something like that. My charlie's great, hates cats, cases rabbits, hates baseball caps and at 8, still acts 2.
Hope everythings going well. Can't wait for M&MM.
Red
My friends' dog developed a taste for her underwear, which is not an especially good trick when company's over but much less painful than their other dog (a lab/doberman cross, they think), whose destructive habits included munching insulation, ripping out solar lighting and, finally, tearing through a down comforter and into the mattress beneath.
Another friend's dog would go crazy whenever a fly was around. No one could say the word "fly," because he'd think a fly was in the room and would run around barking, trying to find it. It got to the point that all I had to do was suddenly cock my head and look as if I'd spotted a fly, and it would set the dog off.
Okay, I should not be laughing at the idea of the guard dog destroying what he's meant to be guarding, but funny.
But our poor dog found...uh, something interesting to roll around in--not sure what it was, and I don't think I want to know--and despite three baths, we ended up having to shave her. Akitas look very...interesting hairless, that's all I can say.
Oh Sweet. You have a blog. This is so cool. Poor teddy bears...well, at least they don't have any nerves^^ Are you releasing "A Dog's breakfast" on dvd or something? Because I'd really like to see it
When you're done with all the film stuff, try Naomi Novik's Napoleonic/Dragon series. I know, sounds wacky. But it sort of works. And, you know, dragons. And John Varley's got some cool stuff out, too.
As for wild dogs, our family dog has vengeance chewing. Peeved at me, she rooted through the stack I'd left on the table, somehow deduced which was my favourite and nibbled all the edges to let me know that she. Was. Not. Happy.
Crazy beasts.
Too bad they're so darn cute.
Yours,
M
My dog story involves my aunt's Golden retriever, Rebel. (And does he ever live up to his name, that rogue) It was Thanksgiving a few years ago, and instead of eating immediately, we all sat in the living room to talk while the food was left on the counter.
BIG MISTAKE.
There we were just sitting there, chatting away, when Rebel waltzes right on into the living with with the entire turkey in his mouth. He sat down right in front of my aunt, too, like he was so proud of himself. Needless to say, we enjoyed a turkey-less Thanksgiving dinner that year.
And that's all I have to say about that. :)
D,
I know this is sort of off-topic, but you mentioned that you were reading camera manuals, etc.
I just finished an absolutely fascinating book called "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud. Yeah, It does happen to be about comics, but it is also the best book I've read on the art of storytelling, and certainly applies to filmmaking. Of particular note is the discussion of object vs. subject in chapter 2, how abstraction subjectifies and realism objectifies characters or objects.
Anyway, it was an illuminating read, and fun because it was in the format of a comic book.
Congratulations on season 4 of SGA!
Excellent! Just got linked here by a friend, and I'm gonna put you on my radar.
Sorry, I can't hook you up with any dog related stories, since all I have is this... thing that my husband and I rescued from HRS. I've been told that this unholy beast is supposed to be a rabbit, but if you ask me, it's just a miniature self-contained demolition unit. My house will never be the same.
Re: the rest of your entry... Am crossing my fingers for the future of SG:A, since it's one of the FEW shows I bother to watch these days. And hoshit, dude you're busy! You sound like me, though. I, too, read tech manuals for fun. You are not alone. *sagely nod*
I must admit I related the story of the now ex-guard dog doberman to everybody that I met for days.
There was a picture in the Scottish version of the Daily Mail of one sorry looking dog surrounded by 'bits' of bears.
In the long run the bears are merely objects and in my opinion the dog is of much more value than any of them. I did not feel like that when my puppy ate my teddy bear's foot 25+ years ago though.
I have tons of funny cat and dog stories - but I am keeping them for my 'book' that I will write one day - yeah!!
When I was a teenager my mother told us that we were getting a puppy - after 16 years of pleading I was ecstatic. It was a bulldog crossed with a GSD, the only puppy in a litter and so small and cute.
However once she brought it home it turned out to be a GSD crossed with a Bull Mastiff - much, much bigger. He grew up to be like Scooby Doo. He was a human in a dog suit.
His favourite game was sitting at the gate, innocently watching the world go by. Every day a guy passed with about 6 Afghan Hounds on one of those branch leads. Hutch (it was the 1980s!) used to wait until they were all passing the gate, jump out and bark deeply and loudly at the group. Then he sat back down and watched the man try to control his hounds, as the skittish dogs went into full panic mode. Dogs can laugh, and our little angel was certainly laughing. The man called our innocent doggy quite a few nasty names.
Beats me why he didn't just take a different route.
Hutch died in 1988 and his antics are still brought up at reunions between my brother and myself.
Hi David! How's it going?!
My name is Ana, I'm from Brazil... and I just wanted to let you know that I'm a hardcore Atlantis fan!
I've been following since the very beginning and now I follow season 3 throught the Internet, which I'm absolutely loving so far! With every single episode, it just keeps getting better and better! So you can definetely spread out the word to the Atlantis cast and crew that you're all making THIS brazilian fangirl incredibly proud!
Don't worry, I'll shut up about the show now! I'm not gonna start rambling on about how much I love McKay 'cause you know, nobody deserves a kiss ass, right?!
Anyway... loved the fact that you've created your own blog!
Man, I wish I could watch your movie! I was really looking foward to it, but us brazilians are born under this tiny "lack-of-movie-distribution" curse... so, I'm 99.9% sure that it won't be released here! But still, I wish you good luck with it!
Oh, and by the way, the guard dog story was indeed really really funny! I'm a journalism major at college, so getting info like this is always welcome for me! Thanks for sharing it!
Alrighty then... I've bugged you enough for one day! I'm gonna stop writting for good now!
Keep up the awsome work on Atlantis and once again, best of luck with "A Dog's Breakfast"! =D
After watching the preview for the Stargate: Atlantis episode 'McKay and Mrs. Miller,' I've figured out David Hewlett's secret. The author of this blog is actually an alternate universe David Hewlett, busily typing away and thus allowing the 'other' David to continue acting, writing, and directing.
No matter which David is actually writing, I've been enjoying the posts here very much. It's a pleasure reading material written by someone who has more than a rudimentary command of the English language.
In re: the current canine theme, I offer the following; if you squint really hard and ignore reality, you might be able to accept my excuse that it's actually on topic.
All trees have bark.
All dogs bark;
Therefore, all dogs are trees.
The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree.
Hi David,
I was reading the newspaper today and on the frontpage it had a dogstory.
A six year old deaf girl got lost while walking a dog. The police tried to communicate with her but because it was hard because of her handicap.
They then had the idea to scan the dog. They did and found the dogs owner. This turned out to be the girls next door neighbour. And shortly afterwards she was reunited with her parents.
I love a happy ending :)
Thank you very much for posting. For the news. Euh... Hallowed are the dogs! My dog not play with toys... he EATS his toys. He is... a strange dog i think...
I'm sorry for my english I'm like Vive Les unas, I'm french (From the FFFDH).
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The only dog story I can come up with on the spot is a small entry on our Coffee Crew blog: 'Revenge of the Witness' Basically while we were all listening to our friend Joe ream out the take-out restaurant for screwing up our order, his dog decided to help himself to the snacks layed out for us in the den... naturally going for the snacks that could very well have killed him before going for the healthy stuff!
Oooooh I love this dog!!! he's very cute! and I love your movie! (and your blog, and you... :D)
But I don't understand all your entries (frenchs are very stupid you know :D) lool
From the best of Craig's list...
A Week In The Doghouse
Date: 2005-05-01, 2:40PM PDT
Instructions for taking care of our dogs while we're away:
MEET THE DOGS
XENA a.k.a. Xenabean, Bean, Beanface, Face, Shepherdydog
Turn ons: Toys, bumping people/other dogs/cats with toys, barking at the basement ceiling, torturing the cats
Turn offs: The mailman, Sadie, anyone who comes to the front door
Xena is low-maintenance. She will be mopey and pathetic without us and will need lots of love. Love her.
The basement is Xena’s chosen realm. She would like nothing better than to stay down there all day barking at the monsters that live in the ceiling, but you can’t let her; she will become a mushroom. If we come home and find a mushroom in the place of our dog, we will be very sad, and you won’t be allowed to come and visit us ever again. To get Xena out of the basement, try any or any combination of the following:
Xena wants to eat the mailman. When he comes, she will stand at the front door with a toy, shake it menacingly and growl. DO NOT let her out when he is within two blocks of the house. We had an incident involving her launching herself at him through a broken window screen last year and didn't get mail for a week. It took a lot of ass-kissing to make up for that, and I'd rather not have to degrade myself that way again. In general, Xena will act as if she’s ready to eviscerate anyone who comes to the front door. This is handy when dealing with solicitors – just point to her, shrug and they’ll go away. Even the most dedicated Jehova's Witness isn't going to risk facing the gnashing teeth of the fierce-looking shepherdy-dog for your whithered little soul.
Xena does not want you to leave the house. Ever. She will attempt to stop you by bumping you repeatedly with a stuffed toy and growling. Just remember that this is all an act; Gund-related injuries are rare. Go ahead and walk out the door.
SADIE a.k.a. Sadiebear, Babybear, Fatty, Beagledog
Turn ons: Food, pinkbellies, food, brushings, food, the itchy spot by her tail, walks, treats, snacks and food
Turn offs: Being bumped by Xena, not getting food
Sadie’s easy except for the pooping (refer to the section below titled: THE BUSINESS). She loves taking walks, and if you feel like walking, she’ll go until she drops. Her harness and leash are hanging by the back door. She’ll start to howl as soon as you make a move for them, and will stop after you’ve gone about two blocks. It’s her way of telling everyone in the neighborhood, “I’m WALKING! Look at ME! I’m WALKING, I’m SNIFFING, I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! Does it GET any better than THIS?????? I’m a BEAGLE by GOD and I’m WALKING! LIFE IS SO FUCKING GOOOOOOOD!. Bring lots of bags; you’ll need them (again refer to THE BUSINESS section). If you encounter children on your walks, feel free to steer Sadie in their direction for greetings. We used to live near an elementary school and I’ve seen her with as many as eight small children on top of her at one time – she loves the attention. Just be careful if they’re holding any type of food product. To a beagle, a child with food is simply a delivery system for nutrients – kind of like the stick part of a corn dog. Useful, but disposable.
GRENDEL a.k.a. Gendelfriend, ‘lil Friend, Friendly Friend, Woobie, DACHSHUND!!! Turn ons: His woobie, nesting, laps, bedtime
Turn offs: Not being in a lap
Grendel pees; it’s what he does. When he pees, he’s saying, “I’m just a tiny dachshund, go ahead and dominate me. See how helpless I am? I’m peeing! I can’t hurt you; I can’t even control my own bladder”.
To avoid the peeing:
When you come home, save the greetings until you’re outside.
Don’t try to pick him up, ever. He’ll jump in your lap when he wants to, and he’ll want to any time you’re sitting down.
Don’t put your face close to him and yell DACHSHUND!!!!!!!! (The Boy does it quite often, and the result is always the same)
Grendel will be in your lap as much as you let him. He especially likes if you cover him with a blanket and let him make a little nest there. Keep in mind that he is virtually naked, so he gets cold and depends on human body heat to sustain him. Please don’t freeze the dachshund.
CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
Sadie and Grendel are in love; Sadie and Xena are not. Sadie and Grendel like to snuggle under blankets on the living room chairs and take naps together. Sadie and Xena like to have stand-offs that consist of the two of them nose-to-nose and barking and growling at maximum volume for up to ten minutes at a stretch. Remember that famous cat-fight scene from Dynasty with Lynda Evans and Joan Collins trying to claw each other's eyes out in the fountain? Or was it a hot tub? Whatever. It's kind of like that but without the Bob Mackie gowns. If this happens, the best thing to do is either a) just get up and leave the room or b) stand up, point to the door of whichever room you’re in and say “OUT” in a loud, firm voice and until they both leave the room. DO NOT try to separate them. Trying to separate them is bad.
THE BUSINESS
Dogs go outside first thing in the morning, right before you leave for work, right when you get home, and before bed. Xena is perfect, she never has accidents. Grendel rarely has accidents and will want to go outside as often as you want to let him.
Sadie gets her own section here. Sadie is a bad, bad dog when it comes to controlling her colon. In her defense, we discovered after the last trip to the vet (when she refused to poop for three days because the grass was wet and she didn’t want to step in it) that Sadie has the longest colon in the history of Beagledom. According to the vet, it is at least twice as long as any colon she has ever encountered (professionally speaking, I’m sure). Possibly because it is so long, it is almost always full and this causes her to have accidents. You will master the art of picking up poop by putting your arm in a bag, grabbing the offending substance, then turning the bag inside out for tying/disposal. We get the newspaper every morning and the plastic bags it is delivered in are ideal for this job. The long bags allow you to cover yourself up to the elbow in plastic, decreasing any accidental fecal-to-skin contact. Occasionally, you may face a liquid spill. The mop is in the kitchen pantry next to the garbage can. Ammonia is under the sink. I’m sorry. She has a problem, but I love her anyhow.
You can decrease the chances of befouling by making sure Sadie actually eliminates when she is outside. Go out with her, point to the yard and say, “Go potty” in a high, unnatural voice. You may have to walk into the yard a bit, then repeat this several times. You’ll feel like a complete asshole, but she’ll listen.
BEDTIME
Sadie likes to snuggle under the covers if you read before turning in, but she must go in her Vari-Kennel™ when you’re ready to sleep. Just open the door and tell her “Go to bed” or “Get in the box” and she’ll go (usually with a pathetically theatrical sigh), and will usually go right to sleep. If she whines, it means she has to go outside again because she didn’t go the first time you let her out. Very, very rarely she’ll wake you up in the morning – if she does, she’s got to GO. For the love of god, take her OUT. That vet visit I mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago? Ended up being a $400 emergency room trip at 3 a.m. for a doggie enema. I’m sure you can understand why I’d like it to be the last of its kind.
Bedtime is Grendel’s favorite time. He will bring his woobie and dive under the covers. He’ll make a nest next to you/on top of you/between two parts of your anatomy and usually won’t move until morning.
Xena likes to patrol the house at night, so even if she sleeps upstairs, she will be on/off the bed throughout the evening. Sometimes she sleeps next to the bed, but if she sleeps on the bed she prefers the spoon position, and occupies approximately the same amount of space as a 300-lb. man. She also hogs the covers and is often flatulent in the evenings, so if you’re missing having a long-term relationship, a week with her should cure you completely.
Thanks again for taking care of our family. It seems like a lot of work, but trust me, it’s worth it.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/71138462.html
If you've never read the posting board about the Dogs In Elk incident, then you need to.Don't drink anything, and be sure to pass it along.
aww cute dog hey this is soo ur biggest fan. i always look forward to all the new eposodes, but i really upset about it being cancelled:( are u gonna be on stargate universe??? my name is cassie HAHA i talk about u all the time at school. we all put u in are projects. i know this is prob asked alot but can i please have a auto graph please conntact ne @ zeldaandhalo@hotmail.com thanks:)
No dog stories...but I do have a cat one.
My cat Lindsey: Terrified of the shower/tub. Howls. Won't go within 10ft if the water is running on full. In her youth actually scaled the wet glass door of the shower to escape a much-needed bath.
My friend, Mindy: Terrified of cats. Not really, but she's deathly allergic and believes that all cats instinctively know of her weakness and use it against her.
I thought it was all in Mindy's head until I heard that Lindsey had opened the bathroom door (she's tricky), sneaked into the bathroom, crawled into the bathtub and sat down...facing Mindy...who was showering. Mindy said the cat just sat there, looking at her, the cat being completely and continually drenched with the water that she hates so much. All, seemingly, just to tell Mindy that she could. If that's not sinster, I don't know what is.
So I see you put a link that talks about my store. Thanks oh cute dog.
You should try this site
Http://website.ws/maulerdog
so you can promote you site more.
Thanks again
Daniel
I do like that dog on your page since I'm a dog lover not a cat lover.
Daniel
maulerdog.ws
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