Friday, August 18, 2006

How can you not LOVE Fridays?! (I know it’s not Friday anymore, but I had time yesterday... until I got stuck in Stargate Atlantis’ Puddle Jumper set for the rest of the afternoon)

Not that I don't love life on Atlantis, but by the end of the week my sad little brain has been filled with just about as much geek speak as this nerd can take! Fridays mean that I've got nothing to learn for tomorrow which means I get to chat properly with the cast and crew and read (wait for it…) non-Stargate related material...which these days means anything about film: film cameras, film directing film production, film distribution...what can I say...I read the manuals...I am a dull, dull man.

Entirely off topic…Funniest thing I've come across recently is about this guard dog in England that went berserk and maimed an entire collection of irreplaceable teddy bears. Apparently a security service was hired by the exhibits' insurance company to guard the priceless teddy bears which are worth over a million dollars (so, not exactly "priceless" then are they Mr. Hewlett?!) The insurance company even insisted on the guard! Turns out the highly trained doberman got jealous of Elvis Presley's teddy bear and tore it to pieces. Then the murderous mutt gets “fluff lust” from his first teddy victim and goes psycho, taking out the rest of the irreplaceable teddies in the process. I was laughing so hard...the image of that poor guard coming in to find the Doberman with a “who me?” look on its slobbery Doberman face…surrounded by millions of dollars of teddy arms and legs and bear stuffing everywhere...Something very “Dog's Breakfast” about the whole thing.

Let me put this out there…if you get a second, post the funniest dog related news or outlandish mutt’s misadventure and maybe I’ll pick a few faves for us all to laugh about! Maybe I’ll make it an on-going “feature” on the “Dog’s Blog”.

Big 200th SG1 party tonight…may even have to break out the suit I’ve been given from an upcoming Atlantis episode…an episode that you are going to completely freak out about…nuff said! (I really am evil!)



At 5:50 PM, Blogger sueKay said...

Yay! another entry!

LOL...yeah I read that story about the guard dog. I think the newspaper headline was blue suede chews :D

Don't have any funny dog stories that I can think of off hand, apart from if you mention the word 'cat' to my dog, she goes absolutely beserk! Other than that she's just a grumpy old lady!

At 5:58 PM, Blogger Carolyn Marie said...

I don't have a dog, but I have cats who love to tear to shreads all my stuff. I got this little toy cow for my cat, Saussie, several years ago, and she never played with it. A few months ago, it still looked brand-new. I got a new kitten, Rasputin, who loves the cow. And, now, the cow is basically dead (along with a shower curtain and a couple rolls of toilet paper). I have funny cat stories and funny human stories, but I don't have any funny dog stories at this moment in time.

But if you want to read something more exciting-- er, dull than "How to make a movie in under 100 steps," I can recommend all my HR manuals.

At 6:29 PM, Blogger Willow Rosenburg said...

Ah, dogs... no I have nothing. Ooh I did once trip over a bean bag that belonged to a dog; I broke my foot only I didn't realise until that night when it blew up like a balloon. Lol! Well no, it wasn't funny at the time but we can laugh about these things now.

The dog is dead. :P

So is this suit blue? The episode is the half season ender? You are a tease!

Thanks for posting an update, you know these blogs are causing fangirl meltdowns on the GateWorld Thunk! *g*

At 6:35 PM, Blogger Sandra said...

Hi David. I hadn't heard that story, it is priceless. The only funny dog story I have is about my dearly departed dog Maxine (Max). Max was very protective of my family (me especially) even though she was just a little dog. (she was a beagle/border terrier mix).
I walked out of the house one day to call the dog to find her across the street chasing my neighbors doberman down the sidewalk. The doberman was running like a bat out of hades trying to get away from my little dog. I was both yelling at the top of my lungs for her to come and laughing my head off. It was so funny but I knew that any second that doberman would say to himself 'why the heck am I running from this little mutt?' and turn around and tear into my Max. She was a great dog and I sure miss her. I now have three cats and my baby is a 4'10" long Green Iguana named Ignatius Iguanagus (aka. Igna)that I just adore. Believe it or not, Iguanas actually like to cuddle.
David, keep up the great work on Atlantis and I hope that "A Dog's Breakfast" will come to my area (Western NY State, USA) so I can see it.

At 6:42 PM, Blogger Laitaine said...

Hi David,

It's great to see another post from you so soon.

Sadly I have no particularly amusing dog stories to share. My cat seems to think that he's a dog (no, really - if I go out for a walk he'll follow me, the dog-walkers look at me like I'm mad) but that's not quite the same.

You are evil to tease us like this... please continue!

At 6:56 PM, Blogger Meg said...

My dog Sally was a card. She used to do the weirdest things and it was hilarious. I remember many a time where she would be so excited about running after a ball or something and she'd run head first into a fence, then pick up and act like nothing had happened. She actually did that off of a dock once and tripped right of the edge because she was so excited.

But the funniest thing she ever did was when a family friend was walking her and she decided she wanted to get to the park now. So she too off and he ended being literally dragged by a black lab puppy down a road and across a field until they reached the park. It was priceless.

At 7:11 PM, Blogger M said...

Ooh, cute pooch pic :)

I'm trying to crack my head about any funny stories I can think of!

Hmm, there was this time when we took Cosmo (our mini Schnauzer) to the beach with some friends. He doesn't like swimming and is kinda scared of the sea but he'd go into the the water just to be near me and my friends, which I thought was just the sweetest thing.

It got to the point that we could make the little guy swim in circles just by moving about and I just loved watching him do his little doggie paddle.

Ok, not funny at all...

Nice to read about your ongoings - I hope you find a nice outfit for the 200th party! And yes, we're all looking forward to upcoming eps of McKay. :)

At 7:26 PM, Blogger PX7555 said...

Very cute photo of dog :)

Ha! You found the Elvis teddy bear story. That was a riot and one link even had photos (oh, the horrors ;)

Maybe the Elvis teddy bear mauler dog can get some plastic surgery and get another job??


Alas, my dog is dull - except when he sees Stargate, then he goes nuts, but only if he sees people in uniform. Scientists are immune to his barking fits. ;)

Meanwhile, you must have read the alien dog story from Maine

Well, maybe it's a cat, a hybrid, or an alien evil beast. AOL had up photos of the, er, dog thing.

At 7:29 PM, Blogger PX7555 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:37 PM, Blogger Emily said...

Nothing news related, but my sister's dog likes coffee... I once gave him my empty Starbucks cup and he tore it to shreds to get to the last drops in the bottom.

At 7:49 PM, Blogger Aurora said...

Hiya David,

I have to agree with you, Fridays are a wonderful time of the

I have had dogs my whole life, so I have quite a few dog stories, but most of them you kinda had to be there for. I actually just got a new pup about 8 months ago. She's half shepherd, half golden retriever. She's a genius. I used to call her my little McKay. Right now she's staring at me with her ball at her feet. So time to go play with the puppy.

Love the blog David. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy days to share with us all.

*waves from New Hampshire*

At 8:00 PM, Blogger Alexandraya Belu said...

My dog is so crazy...he eats everything...yes i mean everything when i was younger more than once I had my parents make a not to my teacher tht He had riped my homework to shreds. His favorit shew toys are my sisters's (there twins) American girl dols, My glasses, and pens...hes coocoo.
Any Hoo...chpt one of a random story on my blog if you want to see it anyone.
Loved the Gates last night.
especilly Vala's Farscape refrence (am i the only person who can't get over Cludia Black and Ben Browder in Stargate together and not farscape) okay Ill stop rambling now this isnt the place...

At 8:01 PM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

let's see...funny dog story...

I'm more of a cat person, but my daughter's Nana has a very gentle, sweet, and, due to "middle age spread," slightly pony-sized Black Lab/Border Collie mix. "Shadow" is not always the smartest puppy in the show (12 years old, and still has not figured out how to get over a four foot chain link fence), but does try her best, especially when it come to the care of her people.

And lord help us all when the herding instinct comes to play("Shadow, stop it...I want to walk over here now. Dammit, dog, I am full grown, indoors, and do not think the coffee table is a danger, so just get OFF me...ow..."). Case in point: Nana was moving, and had contacted local workmen to see about loading and relocating her back shed. She carefully advised the men that, while she might be late arriving to meet them, they should be able, from outside the yard fence get a pretty clear view of the shed and the path to the yard gate, in order to determine a basic fee and plan of action. She made sure that they understood that they were not to enter the yard, for any reason, until she arrived onsite.

Being reasonbly intelligent men of the Southern United States, they were able to translate her instructions as "Do whatever you think is best, dear. I am woman and therefore no clear concept of anything outside the reality of daytime programming. Hee, hee, giggle."

On her way to the house, she received a call from one of the men asking when she would be arriving. In the background, she could hear Shadow barking emphatically, which almost obscured the other man's voice as he attempted to reason with a creature that was obviously, thus far, able to counter every argument with a few well chosen barks and playful dodges.

When she arrived, she found the men cornered by the shed, with Shadow smiling happily at the gate. The men, who had initially found the dog to be quite friendly, unassuming, and open about them entering the yard, were very surprised to find their task was not so much of the "avoiding dog to get in" variety, as it was the "OMG! She's gonna eat us if we leave."

Shadow, sweet thing that she is, just could not understand why the silly humans, once within the safety of the yard, would want to go back out where the snarling gangs of kittens and malevolent bicycles ran amok, and, having done her duty, keeping these visitors secure, she would like her "cookie", now, kthnx.

I think she would make a great doorman at the Hotel California.

And, yes, the men obviously had issues with the four foot fence as well.

At 8:15 PM, Blogger Christina said...

Thanks for posting, I enjoy the updates. Hmmm... funny dog story I have so many. My dog cleverly named Argos (for those who have read the Odyssey), is a bundle of good times and stories. Probably my favorite was when his was a puppy and still being trained we had an accident. Argos was very good about getting our attention and going to the door but sometimes the door is just too far away. I was sitting on one couch and my boyfriend on the other with Argos who was asleep. Argos bolted awake, ran to my boyfriend to get his attention and then peed all over him. It wasn’t funny at the time, but the look on his face holding the dog with a wet lap is all I ever need to make me laugh.

At 8:27 PM, Blogger Rebeccasaurus said...

That is officially the cutest dog pic :)

As for a dog story, mine only revolves around large quanitites of ice cream. As kidlets my friends and I decided it would be the greatest idea to purchase one of those huge buckets of ice cream that actually have a handle so you can carry it home. Anyway after only getting though a litre or so we concured that the best idea was to leave it for the dog to knock the rest off because it wouldn't fit in the freezer. We felt sick and I'm sure the dog did too.

At 8:27 PM, Blogger kittenz2006 said...

The family dog, Abby, a 5yr old shephard/husky cross earned the nickname "Dunderella" due to the famous Kraft peanut butter jar incident. My nephew Andrew (beloved teen that he is) left an open glass 2 kg PB jar (the bear shaped one that comes out at christmas) on the counter. So of course, Abby who possesses the pointed shephard snout manages to stick her head all the way into the jar which lodges just past her jawbone but is happily sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor (her huge pink tongue whipping in all directions to clean the jar of the peanut butter).
After valiant efforts with three adults attempting to pull the damn jar off her head- which accomplished nothing but us dragging the dog around the kitchen floor (Swifter-like). It was time to call the vet- and of course it's 5 pm on a Friday so this is an emergency appointment. The receptionist who spent the phone call laughing could not see the seriousness of the situation but by now Abby's tubby is rumbling loudly and I'm thinking that there is about to be a John Bonham. So we stuff Abby into the car (which is all bonus action- I mean PB and a car-ride) and she spends the trip finishing the PB in the bottom and whacking me, Andrew and the car window with the jar as she flicks her head around enjoying the view.
When the vet stopped laughing, I was given a lecture on the potential threat Abby could have been in (like duh- I'd hadn't noticed). So after a futile attempt to pry the jar off, they stuffed batting in the jar, wrapped and broke it. Only then fortunately, did Abby decide to "return" the peanut butter. The ordeal cost me $300 bucks and Andrew was given the special joy of cleaning up in the backyard for the next few weeks as too much peanut butter does EVIL things to a dog's digestive tract. It's been three years and the vet still asks about Abby wherever we see her.

At 8:51 PM, Blogger Nightsister said...

I've had cats most of my life, but my husband used to have a wonderful standard poodle named Cowboy (after Midnight Cowboy -- yes he was black!)

Despite being a "poodle," Cowboy thought he was the fiercest hunter ever: he would stalk birds, then pounce on them and grab them as they were taking flight! John said it was the funniest thing, watching this ginormous black curly dog leaping in the air, catching birds (I bet the birds weren't amused, though). Cowboy was so proud of his "achievements", and my mother-in-law said she had to work very hard to keep the look of horror off her face because she knew that it would crush him.

He was also a mighty hunter of doughnuts. Any box of Dunkin Donuts left on the counter was GONE like *that*. Cowboy was more ashamed of his lack of self-control than proud of that deed, though. :)

Oh, you would also appreciate this -- my husband's stepsister got her first (of three) Labrador Retrievers and was trying to figure out a name for him. He's a chocolate Lab, see, and we went through the "Cocoas" and "Mochas" and whatnot. My husband came up with "Count Chocula" and that was short-listed, until we discovered that the dog had one of those ID chips implanted in him, and then the name was easy: Logan, like in Logan's Run! We're a family of movie geeks, how could you tell? :)

At 8:57 PM, Blogger Kath said...

A man who reads instruction manuals. I don't know whether to be impressed or disturbed. ;o)

I wonder if that Elvis bear was carrying a miniature peanut butter and banana sandwich. Maybe the dog was just hungry. *ponders* I can imagine that moment of horrid discovery - when all time stops and you know you're doomed. God I hate those moments!

When I was a kid we had a toy poodle (who thought she was a cat). When we gave her a bath she looked like a drowned rat! Of course we'd laugh and I swear she got embarrassed because she would hide under the couch until you got on your hands and knees and begged her to come out.

Mars looks very cute with his pet frog. I hope you enjoyed your party. Can't wait to see you in the suit. Best Wishes!

At 9:08 PM, Blogger Bluster said...

When I was in high school we got a puppy who was part Doberman and part Hound Dog. Trust me, he got the ugliest features of both breed. However, he was really smart and really *big.* One day my mother boiled a chicken and, wanting it to cool quickly, she put it in the front room in the open window. Needless to say Andy (that was the dog's name) was attracted to the smell. Not more than five minutes after the chicken had gone in the window I heard my mother yelling. Andy had eaten the chicken...bone and all. Well, there was a small portion of the back bone left. Needless to say we did not have chicken for dinner that night.

Thank you for keeping this blog. It's good to hear what's up with the movie, SGA, and whatever else you choose to share.

At 9:12 PM, Blogger Mahlia Belonn said...

Cute picture of Mars!!

I grew up with labradors (and 1 poodle who thought she was a labrador!) and one of them, Blackberry (or Berry for short), was hysterical! My mother was learning to play the euphonium (badly) and I happened to look out into the yard and see our big black lab flat on her tummy with her paws over her ears. Mum paused in her playing and Berry stood up with a look of total relief on her face. The moment mum started playing again she hit the floor and the paws were back over the ears!!

Another time, when Berry was just a little puppy (3 months old) we visited our relatives who had chihuahuas. They terrorized the poor puppy even though she was four times the size of them, and she was miserable the whole time. We then visited just over a year later and the chihuahuas remembered her. They started to hassle her but this time she had her half-sister Krista with her and couldn't lose face. She let out a really deep woof, slapped down with her paw and then there were 2 flattened chihuahuas!! For some reason they didn't come near her ever again!!

At 9:29 PM, Blogger Jwall said...

The only dog I've ever had was a Miniature Poodle. He's about 15 now, and crotchety, and mean, but still manages to be playful when he's not being a grumpy old man.

Despite the fact that he's a miniature poodle, and about 10 lbs. soaking wet, he has this very, "I AM POODLE, HEAR ME ROAR" air about him. The funniest thing I have ever seen him do was literally chase a squirrel up a tree. The squirrel had the audacity to be in HIS backyard, and that was just not a good thing. My dog, backyard warrior that he is, takes after this squirrel so fast, my ears popped from the sonic boom. The squirrel (predictably) head up the nearest tree, but this does not deter my dog, OH NO. He's going so fast, and the trunk is big, and textured, and at just the right angle, that my puppy manages to get to the first branch, about 5 feet off of the ground, without even realizing it. The "OH CRAP" look on his face was almost as funny as the "I SO TOTALLY MEANT TO DO THAT, STFU!" look.

I left him there for a good minute before taking pity on him and plucking him off the branch. After he was back on solid ground he did his "I AM TOO GANGSTA FO DIS HOOD" impression, barked a few times, and stalked off looking as terrifying as a 9 lb. walking cotton-ball can.

This is him:

In other news, I like Fridays too. The 200th episode was too cool for school, and I loved it, even though Atlantis > SG-1.

At 9:42 PM, Blogger Jen the Fangirl said...

About twelve years ago, my dogs tore up my mom's two foot teddy bear she had had since she was six. :( It was about forty years old!

Here's for an odd dog story involving my old Bassett, Olga. She broke out of our backyard and we couldn't find her anywhere. We called the various shelters in our area, but they came up with nothing.

About a week after Olga had gone missing, we got a call from one of the shelters who told my mom that a woman had called them saying that, about the same time our dog had gone missing, her son, a police officer, was parked along the street with his door open, and this Bassett hound jumped into his car. He brought her the dog because she loved Bassetts. We got the woman's phone number, told her Olga's name, and sure enough, Olga answered to the name when the woman called her!

This isn't a funny story, but an incredible one. My dog Bizzy (short for Bismarck, but the name never really stuck), one of the two who had chewed up my mom's bear, used to love jumping the fence in our backyard. To curb him of this, we put a chain on him. The chain didn't stop him, however. One day, I heard this horrible yelping, and found Bizzy hanging over the fence, his chain stuck between two of the wood panels on our fence. I couldn't get him down, so I got my dad. Bizzy died there on the fence when my dad was outside with him. My dad cut him down and then came to told us that Bizzy was dead...however, then my dad decided to try something. He slammed on Bizzy's chest, gave the Beagle mouth to mouth, and got our dog breathing again! Bizzy lived for about six years after that without any complications from his short time of being previously deceased.

At 10:19 PM, Blogger Tammy Mc said...

Ok, this is sort of a cat and dog combo story. I posted a bit about it earlier on another comment section. Let me elaborate a little more about my experience. I am sure someone will get a good laugh from my misery; I can even laugh about it now.
I decided to let my daughter adopt another kitty from the shelter. A spur of the moment decision that I am notorious for making which always seems to bite me in the… well you know ;) except this one literally bit me. We made our choice, paid the fees and even stopped by the pet store to buy this new kitty a collar and name tag before we even got home with her. I foolishly made the choice to carry her to the door instead of putting her into the box that we had just purchased to bring her home in. I had 2 daschunds at the time, Jake and Piper. I decided to introduce them to each other. As I sat down on the front step I should have realized this was not a bright idea when the cat began to struggle a little. I thought that I was safe since I had both its front and back paws securely held, I just forgot about her head. Both of the dogs sort of ran towards us which scared the poor kitty. Oh let me add this before it gets to the funniest part. When I got out of the car, I left the keys in the ignition and the door key is on the same key ring. All of the sudden that cat went berserk on me which made the dogs go nuts. They were trying to get to her and I was pushing them back with my foot. Both of my kids were laughing at me, not lending any help at all. You know how you can hold a cat by its neck hide and it sort of paralyzes it? WRONG! That’s a handy little piece of information to have. Nothing affected this cat. All she could focus on was those dogs and getting away. I knew that I could not let her go. I was already bleeding with numerous bites and scratches all over my hands and legs. If I had of let her go she would have been long gone and I would have to get those dreaded rabies shots. Here I was standing in the yard with this hell cat tearing my hands up, the dogs were barking at us and both my kids were about rolling on the ground laughing at me. By now I was screaming for someone to get the door open but no one knew where the keys were. I finally made it into the house. I fell to my knees just as I released my grip on the cat. It’s strange how you don’t feel real pain when you are in a situation like that. I could feel that cat biting me and I knew that I was in trouble but it did not really hurt, until I let her go and seen all the damage that she did. I ended up going to the ER for antibiotics and a tetanus shot. The kids compared that cat to the tazmanian devil from the Bugs Bunny cartoons. I still to this day do not know why my dogs went after her like they did. That experience ended up costing me several hundred bucks and about a week of misery. I could not even bend my fingers for over a week. The shelter was kind enough to let us swap that hell kitty for a younger, much nicer kitten that got along well with my dogs. I know that this is more of a cat story but if it wasn’t for the dogs, the cat would have had no need to turn me into a human pin cushion.
Here is a mug shot of both the culprits responsible. Of course they look so innocent.

On another note, the 200th SG1 was funny. We all got a good laugh from it. SGA was fantastic as always. The only thing that would have made it even better would have been more Rodney. ;)

Keep up the awesome work David.
Sending you much love and admiration.


At 10:53 PM, Blogger ArOhBeWyEn said...

Just found your blog, and I am in a sort of fannish delight. =D

Fridays are the best! ;) By far.

Dogs are crazy. I've got four cats, and that's enough insanity for me! But the best dog story I've got is a little quickie about my cousin's dog. He LOVES tic-tacs. I mean, if he hears them, he'll look up at you with these big watery eyes saying "For me?" in an innocent voice. Of course that last part is just in my head. But anyway, if you throw them at him, he'll snatch them up out of the air. Hey, at least he's got fresh breath, right?

SUIT!? You are an evil tease, David Hewlett. Hope you had a great time at the 200th SG-1 party. Now that was an amusing episode. I can only hope that the Atlantis 200th episode will be that hilarious. ;)

Hope to hear more from you soon!

At 11:01 PM, Blogger Carolann said...

I don't own a dog personally, but I borrowed my parents' dog while they were away on vacation for a week once. Boy, I am never going to offer again, I'm afraid. I walked him every 3 or 4 hours constantly, but he still urinated all over my apartment and managed to one day poo on the floor and somehow ended up sitting on it. Now, unfortunately, I'm not really sure if I want a dog of my own or not. Maybe once I buy a house with a big back yard... I love my kitty, though, and her only flaws are that she wakes me up too early and likes to jump up on the table and randomly knock stuff on the floor.

At 11:13 PM, Blogger Randomite said...

This is a random moment I walked into like a year ago:

I walked outside my house and I live on this kind of quiet street that has houses with lots of trees and green grass. So, its like a hot summer day and all these sprinklers are on (even though due to water restrictions I'm pretty sure most houses weren't supposed to have their sprinklers on).

I look down the street, and theres this dog attempting to climb a gum (eucalyptus)tree. If you've seen "The Mask" it kind of looked like when Milo was climbing the wall to get to Jim Carrey's character who was in jail, he kept missing and falling down alot.

Anyways, this woman was like screaming at the dog (it was a medium size dog, I don't know what type), naturally curious, I walked down to see what's going on...

There was a cat in the tree stalking a baby magpie in its nest, and so the dog obviously wanted to get at the cat. One of the magpies parents returned and just swooped into the cat and knocked it off the branch so it was just hanging on by its claws, about a second later the dog jumped and bit the tail of the cat dragging it down and when they landed the cat was on top of the dogs head, digging its claws into the dogs neck.

The dog started running around, which I assume made the cat dig its claws in more, then finally ran into the tree and was momentarily stunned. The lady ran over and RIPPED the cat off the dog, the cat then swiped her with its paw, she dropped it, and it shot off down the street through all the sprinklers.

The dog then ran after it, and the lady after the dog. The cat eventually jumped over a fence and the dog attempted to do the same but wasn't able to follow so it was just jumping and barking.

The lady (a little slower than the cat and dog), was a few houses down and for some reason was ignoring the footpath and carefully walking across the wet grass and getting her clothes soaked by the sprinklers.

I was just casually walking on the other side of the street trying not to get involved, then the cat tried to get back over the fence but for some reason it wasn't jumping as well as it was before. It was like hanging on to the fence and trying to pull itself over, then I heard someone yelling at the cat from behind the fence and the cat fell straight onto the dog again.

The Lady finally got to the scene and picked up the cat: It had a rat trap on its paw. Then this man walked around from behind the fence and started yelling at the lady about the cat trying to kill his birds, and this lady was screaming back at him about the rat trap on her cat.

The dog, obviously disapointed that the cat is safe, quietly walked off a bit further down the street to this little girl (presumably his owner) and innocently lay down. The girls parents then walked out and started praising it for being such a good dog and watching her (the girl). (The Lady and Man were STILL yelling at eachother, only now they looked red, either from rage or sunburn).

At 11:13 PM, Blogger tigs said...

Our dog was very funny (or we liked to think so, anyway), but this was one of our favorite stories:

One Christmas, as a joke, my family received one of those "Jingle Dog" CDs, where the dogs bark out all sorts of holiday songs. We put it on, and our dog, Sidney, immediately perked her ears up, listened intently for a moment, then jumped down off the couch and started hunting all around the living room for these dogs that had apparently invaded her space. She made it all the way to the corner that stereo was in before she realized that there weren't any other dogs at all. She was so embarrassed, she went back to her spot on the couch and refused to look at us for a good long while.

Until it was time to unwrap her presents, that is. :)

At 11:30 PM, Blogger Gina said...

The only funny story I can think of is about my dog. At one time a few years ago, I needed to add a phone line to a part of my house that wasn't wired for it. Instead of calling the phone company, I tied the end of the wiring to my daschund, Biscuit's collar and opened up the crawl spaces at both ends of the house. I then let her go in one side while my father called her from the other and she ran right to him, wire dragging along behind her. She came out dusty and covered in cobwebs, but she was wagging her tail like she'd had a grand adventure. And I got my house wired up in a matter of minutes, for free!

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Erynn said...

Unfortunately, my funniest animal story involves a ferret, a Wiccan initiation, and a room full of naked people, so I probably shouldn't tell it here ;)

You and Paul were fabulous in last night's episode, and Torri was incredible!

At 11:44 PM, Blogger runonmoonlight said...

I also don't have a dog. But, I have three cats (and a rat! but she doesn't figure into this story at all, other then I like to tell everyone how I have a crazy rat and her name is Elentari Elbereth, and then people look at me strangely. I'm not quite sure why...)

Anyways. So, there are quite a few dogs who live on my street. Small. Yappy. Annoying dogs. Also one larger one who's actually quite nice. But see, the thing is that the cat that will be leaving the house with me when I finish uni -- he was a stray, he's not exactly scared of much. Except being put in a box to go to the vets, and then you really don't want to know what he does.

So, my wonderful cat has had years of wandering upp and down my driveway taunting the dog thats two houses away from us. He'll wait until they're calm, and then just wander back, and forth. And then sit and clean himself and look very pleased as they go nuts. I think he's quite possibly insane, nut I also thought that was about it.

Until the day I heard the small annoying yappy dog down the street barking up a storm. And, it's owner, possibly spazzing out. Turns out, this dog (Scratchy? I think that's her name). Got off the front porch, when Thomas (the Tank Engine -- yes. my cat) was walking by.

I don't think my cat likes dogs. Because apparently he started to chase Scratchy down the street and then as I wandered out to the street to see what the commotion was? Caught up with the dog and started to attack him.

I. I was just was speechless. And, amazed that he had the guts to do that. The other two cats? Not so much the same, the little one (Calvin the Nutless Wonder Cat) -- is actually afraid of the rat. Because, she whacked him on the nose once when he got too close to the cage. And the older one just tends to drool a lot and paw you for pets and meow like he's dying when he wants in or out.

I must be one of the only people that has a cat that chases dogs... And attacks them. It's also quite possibly he wanted to eat it. I really wouldn't be surprised.

I feel a little sorry for the dogs on my street, except for the fact that, it causes me to giggle whenever I am reminded of it)

So, in conclusion? I have a crazy cat who should probably stay away from Mars. For everyones sake :D

At 11:51 PM, Blogger Acrazyperson said...

Hi David,
uhhh wow!!! uhhhh David Hewlett. stories right. about 7 years (maybe six) I picked up this adorable Lab mix from a neighbor who's dog had recently had puppies. We gave him an adorable little name 'Spangle' because he had been born on the fourth of July. Anway a few months after we got him, he stopped being a shy little pup and began being more playful. Well my father had some people from work coming over for a barbeque, his boss actually, Anyway his boss showed up with a bunch of other co-workers. We all sat in lawn chairs talking. My dad was disscussing some data base thing, when his boss decided to use the bathroom. upon getting up, our dear little Spangle ran to the man, and began tugging on his pants. The dog pantsed my dads boss in front of everyone. luckily my dad got to keep his job. Sadly my dog passed way two years later...on Valentines day. :( we now have a new puppy, Carter (I bet you can't guess who she's named after) who worships you. Every time she see's Atlantis she perks up. I guess that's the only Carter that realy loves McKay, eh! :D lol. Anyway. Just want to tell you that this movie is on my 'Must See' list....not because you and other SG people are in it...but because, it sounds hilarious :p

At 11:54 PM, Blogger Jessie said...

*grins* So that was the deal with the Elvis bear. I only caught the tail end of the newscast and missed what happened. Of course when I hear that I think the dog has very good taste. I mean, he didn't go after say a gift shop item. Oh, no. He's smart and goes for the irreplaceable sorts. My kinda pup right there. Plus, you know that stupid teddy bear was giving the poor dog the evil eye every time he went by. I mean, how could anyone take that kind of abuse.

And I like that "I didn't do it!" image of the Dobie (I just wanna give the dog lots of hugs. What? I like the tough, manly breeds. Screw the T-cup anythings. I want the big, loud wooofing dogs). I've known enough dogs with that "who me" look. *snort* Most were given by Fred, former dog I used to see at work. Dumber than a sack of rocks. The less than intelligent mutt jumped out of a moving Jeep (while he was attached to one of those doggie carseat leash thingies) and managed to not break a single bone. Of course, the Jeep was only going 20 mph, but still. Moving car. Dumb dog.

In an unrelated incident that happened a couple days earlier, good ol' Fred got so excited, jumped around in the big dog cages (about 5 feet by 10 feet wide, brick wall about 3 feet high and then just chainlink) while being daysat that he broke the chainlink cage door and cut his back paw. The door wouldn't latch right after that, at all. Fred was...unique. And big. Towered over me on his hindlegs, then again he was a bluetick coonhound. Actually, Fred might be more amusing if you ever met the silly mutt. Nice dog, just dead stupid. Of course, he was in the human equivalent teen years, too.

Also? Marsy's pic? Adorable. I had to stare at a minute. I swear, put a cute animal pic up and I'm happy for hours, and it eclipsed all other news shared. And that froggy is the same one my dad got either Hoover (oh! There's a better story. I'll explain Hoove in a minute.) or Molly (stepmom's dog). *grins* PetsMart. *grins* Plus, for a second there, I thought the wall socket thingy was actually a price tag and you were selling the pup.

Okay, so Hoover. They think Hoover is a German Shepard/Welsh Corgi mix. Hoover was taken someplace (I've never been clear if it was a vet's office or animal control) to be killed at a day old since he was an unwanted result. Well, the ones asked to do the deed couldn't, so they took him to a rescue. He was given the name Hoover because when they would feed him, the little dear would hold on to the bottle like the vacuum. Daddy adopted him when Hoover was about..four months, maybe a little older. They've had him for goodness nearly 10 years now. It's so funny to see him sit on those short Corgi back legs, colored liked a Sheppard and with a Sheppard's face but Corgi body type. I just love his name. I haven't heard of another dog named with his story.

You know, the more amusing dog stories I know involve the humans more. Pet owners are a trip. Says the owner of a cat, two gerbils (which actually scare the cat when you let her smell them), and since I live with my mom, a crotchety elderly pug who thinks she's a cat half the time.

At 11:57 PM, Blogger Gem Simpson said...

::dead from giggle...just...*dead*::

I had a dog that could open the fridge, it used to eat the butter...but that's not funny...

I will go away now...

Glad to see another post from you :)
and I highly doubt your dull!

All the best :)

At 12:02 AM, Blogger Danielle the Paranoid Android said...

Whenever I think about dogs my mind automatically goes straight to the Dog Whisperer. Caser Millan. Oh man that guy is batshit crazy. I totally dislike dogs, but I will balls out sit on the couch and watch that guy talk about being the "leader of the pack" and the "dominant one". There was this one episode where the dog was afraid of linoleum floors and went totally berserk whenever it went near them. Or that dog that had a fixation with rocks. If I already didn't like dogs I think this show would make me weary of ever owning a dog. Plus my mom's dog ate my shoe once. I am still mad about that.

I think reading camera manuals is a lot less sad than reading kitchen appliance manuals. Being perceived as a sad person is better than getting woken up by the loudest microwave known to mankind.

It's funny that teddy bears of all things could be worth millions of dollars. I think that dog deserves a medal.

At 12:15 AM, Blogger Kirsten said...

Heee! Dogs are absolutely amazing! I've been around them almost my entire life, and couldn't imagine life without them. My own dog, Latte (a chocolate lab), is the sweetest thing on the planet! But I guess every dog owner says that about their own. ;)

I think one of the cutest memories, though, doesn't have anything to do with my own dog. Instead, it has to do with a whole lot of other people's dogs! Throughout college I worked at SeaWorld where, among other things, I played Shamu. On occasion, a group of 20 or so local guide dog trainers would bring their puppy trainees to the park, as a way to expose them to new and unusual environments - what better place for that than a theme park, where unusual is often an understatement? And I can't think of anything much more unusual to a dog than a 7-foot-tall dancing costume character whale. So they'd stop each time and let the dogs meet Shamu. Their reactions ran the gamut from trying to chew on the costume to hiding behind their owners to complete ignorance. And on one quieter day, they all gathered around and got a huge group picture of all the dogs and their handlers with Shamu. To this day, I wish I had a copy of that!

At 12:19 AM, Blogger Jessie said...

*headdesk* You know, sleepy people should not be allowed on the internet until they can spell a breed's name properly, and not a character's name. That would Shephard. Though, at least, I've been mispelling it the wrong way since I learned how to write, and not since I started watching SGA.

At 12:33 AM, Blogger milenaa said...

Aw, that's a great picture!

On new year's eve a couple of years ago, a friend of mine accidentally dyed my dog's leg pink with red Vodka. She spilled some of it on the sofa and was afraid to tell me, and then my dog went to sit in the spot.
When he got up later we noticed his entire leg had taken on the pink color of the Vodka. It looked pretty striking on a white dog! Even a shower and lots of dog shampoo didn't help, so in the end it just had to grow out.
It's funny to me now, but at the time I was frantic because I wasn't supposed to drink yet :)

I think it's great you're blogging now. Reading your posts has been much fun so far!

Greetings from Germany,

At 1:00 AM, Blogger Zottty said...

I have to say I'm very suprised to see another entry so soon on your blog!! Nice!!! I completely love animals and alway have some corky stories about my own border collie who I live with (noted that I live with her, she doesn't live with me, she has completely taken over the house, including a recently made race track through out the house called "the doggy 500" that she has developed over time.

That or we play Find Waldo with her toy box full of toys (over 200 of the and still counting).... Spoiled you might say??? Yes but shes my baby... If you ever get a few minutes, you should check out my blog (click the link on the pic) and I have some of her 'famous mug shots'up... And yes the famous "Wheres Waldo" picture is there where we are in search for Waldo while all her toys are around her!! Can you tell I love my pup!!

Sorry...for getting off subject!! Great to see you keeping your blog alive!! Keep it up and fill us in... It's always great to hear for you and Mars!!!!

At 1:10 AM, Blogger dutch_eowyn said...

A dog story? Well, for years I used to work as a volunteer at our local animal shelter. One day a new volunteer was asked to give a pill to a German Shepherd. When she came back from her mission she was looking pale. Apparently she'd thought it was a good idea to offer the pill in a bit of food on a spoon. 'I always do it like that for my kids...' she said. Only they didn't usually swallow the pill spoon and all, which the dog had.

It wasn't so funny for the dog, which had to have surgery to get the spoon out, but I'm afraid us volunteers had a good laugh about it at the time.

At 1:20 AM, Blogger RankNFiled said...

Ahh, Dobermans! So adorable, in that cute, fluffy psycho way. When I was growing up, we had a Doberman named Brewster. Sweetest, most lovable dog, though he had terrible, terrible gas. One night we were entertaining some guests when one of them started to turn a little green. That seemed to be Brewster's cue to leave the room, which he did rather quickly, before anyone else could smell the foul stink he made and blame him.
My mom let him outside, and like the sweety he was, he stood with his backside to the sliding glass door, entertaining us with his intermittent puffs on the window.
I miss that dog.

At 1:26 AM, Blogger geekjumper said...

Heya, David. :) You've probably seen this before, as it's been something of a web classic since 1999, but the fabulously horrible tale of Dogs in Elk remains one of the funniest things I have ever, ever read. Talk about adding another skeleton to the closet...

With best wishes to you, Jane, and Mars of the Restored Dignity,


At 1:27 AM, Blogger RankNFiled said...

Another story, becuase I couldn't resist. My Anthropology Prof used to be a research assistant at Berkley, and in order to tag the apes he was studying, he used a water gun filled with dye. In order to gauge how far away he could be to the apes and still tag them succesfully, he would practice on his white Huskey. The poor dog was multi colored for a good portion of the year.

At 2:00 AM, Blogger Cortney said...

Unfortunately, I don't have any good dog stories, unless you count my grandmother's blind toy poodle that used to jump up on the counter to eat cookies, so I'll offer a link to the Dog News Blog,, but if you ever need a good ferret and telemarketer story, I'll be sure to contribute.

At 2:00 AM, Blogger Arlessiar said...

Oh I love this blog! Yeah, I can see it already: "David Hewlett - Dog stories" :)

Personally I never owned a dog. I got bitten by one when I was about four, wasn't serious but I was scared of dogs afterwards. Took me years to be able not to change the streetside when a dog was coming towards me. Today I'm not that afraid anymore, but I never had much contact to dogs, but I guess I'd get used to one pretty quickly. And my boyfriend always says he definitely wants to have a dog later, best a German Shepard or a Golden Retriever (yeah, and I want a dishwasher, a baby and one million cash, but do I get what I want? Nooo...), so I guess you could say there's a dog in my future.

I have one dog story that is rather creepy - when my Dad was a little boy he had a little black dog called Topsy. He loved this dog so much, and when the dog died he was buried in our garden. A few years ago we decided to make a pond in our garden and when we were digging this nice, big hole, guess what we found? Yeah, dog bones. My Dad was a little disturbed for a few hours...

The funniest dog I've ever seen is the dog of our neighbours. I have no idea what kind of dog that is (small, short legs, hair long and golden), but I know that he's the laziest dog in the world. He never wants to go for a walk. They have to drag him outside, then he takes a step, then he stands still again, looking to the door longingly. When he finally walks he always walks a few steps behind his owner and the leash is always one straight, tense line, and from time to time he refuses to go one more step and pulls backwards, stemming his little legs against the ground - it's too cute! I think they've never been farther away from their house than a few metres. But you should see him when they give up - now he's ahead, running to the door as if dog's paradise is waiting at home! The neighbours say that he lies on the carpet or sofa during the day and when you call him to walk him he just looks at you for a second as if he wants to say "You humans don't get it, right?" and then he just turns around again and ignores you, until his owners come and carry him to the door, afraid that he might start to rust if he never moves. They already contemplated putting him on a skateboard for longer walks because it takes ages to go from one place to another. You always hear them going "We'll put you on wheels, I swear!"
This little fellow amuses everyone in our street greatly. Especially when it's raining. Then he stands in the doorframe with this "are you nuts?" look and you can see that he really doesn't want to get his coat wet. He seems to contemplate if it's really worth the effort to go out there... I love this dog! *g*

Let me say that Mars is definitely one of the cutest dogs I've ever seen - the way he looks on this new photo is simply awww-inducing!

And what I noticed right now while I type here and accidentally spelt the word wrong: Turn the word 'dog' around and you get 'god' - if this means something? Forget cats, dogs rule the world, or something like this? :)

Anyway, thanks for the update and telling us about your Friday evenings! *g* I hope you enjoyed the SG1 party! Is it possible that this suit you mentioned is blue? The blue one definitely looked good in the teaser trailer - although I'm already dreading the mid-season two-parter! And you do nothing to calm me when you talk about possible fan freak outs! Yes, you are a very evil Hewlett! :D

At 2:01 AM, Blogger Addie said...

So, despite that up till last year I've never not had a dog, I can think of no particular instances of hilarity. I did have one pup who was just generally funny due to severe personality disorder (or something). He was a Border/ hound cross, and he came to us quite young, at time we had two large dogs (waist high on a grown man large, not german sheppard large). Being the only small one in the family (and being under the mistaken impression he was lap dog small, not oh, husky small), Fudgie developed a serious Napoleon complex. He was obsessed with getting taller any way possible. He would jump into the air so his head (like the other two) was at hand level for ease of petting. He would sit on the dining chairs, at the table. Outside, he spent all his time on the deck, half of that standing on the patio table. I once caught the silly guy trying to stand on his 'brother' Bluey. He was also strangely attracted to fluffy white things (our other dog's fur, kleenexes, stuffing from couches, chairs, blankets etc) and would eat as much as he could get his mouth around, then walk about with a kleenex beard hanging out of the corner of his mouth (that is until he coughed it all up - cat owners think their hairballs are bad! My cats got nothin on Fudge). The cutest of his tics was his separation anxiety, something horrible and irritating for most, but cute to us because he was attached not to us, but to our other dog. He would let loose with very human-like wails if Blue was out of sight and he was unable to follow. Horrible if Blue ran off for a day or two without him, he was inconsolable.
Though I love my (4) cats and (13!) rats dearly, your blog, with it's adorable pic of Mars) is making me wish my apartment weren't way too small to have dogs again.

At 2:06 AM, Blogger Vicky said...

Hey! great to hear from you again :)

I heard about that story and saw some guy being interviewed about it on the news, I'm not sure who he was tho LOL

anyway, the funniest dog story I have is from a few years ago now. I had taken my rabbit to the vets and we were sitting in the waiting room, as you do. There was a guy there with this HUGE alsation. The dog was standing up and the guy was sitting on the bench, holding the other end of the lead. When the vet came out and called the next patient, which was the alsation, the dog promptly sat down on the floor and wouldn't get up. The owner had to drag his alsation, which still refused to get up, across the waiting room floor and into the examination room. Lucky the floor was laminate or tiles (cant recal which) LOL


At 3:04 AM, Blogger Jo said...


First I have to say this...Mars? One of the cutest dogs EVER! (Has to say one of because I have 5 dogs of my own, Jake, Jessie, Oz, Gypsy and Larry. Jake is sat at the side of me while I write this and giving me 'The Eye')

As for funny stories, well I guess not funny so much as quirky. All 5 of my dogs were rescued and all have, well, let's just say 'issues' shall we. One of them is a coffee and chocolate addict, seriously Oz can sniff out both before they are out of the packet and will hunt you down and sit on you until you give them to him. *considers sending him to rehab*

He has now discovered that he can open the fridge, oven and microwave. Given that Larry can open every door in my house AND the garden gate too, yeah, nowhere is safe, everything is now in process of being bolted and padlocked.

The story you mentioned actually reminds me of what Jessie did when she was a puppy. I left her in the house while I popped to the shop (which was at the top of our street) I was gone maybe 5 minutes, possibly less and when I returned she had stripped my couch. Seriously, all the material was shredded into postage stamp size pieces and there was foam everywhere. All that was left was the frame and springs.
My response? "Ooops!"
Well what can I say, she was only a baby and she looked so cute sat amid the mess with a proud "Look what I did!" look on her face.

So yeah, quirky stories but not really funny *looks at comment* And boy can I babble and be long winded!

To end I am just gonna say this, Thank you for taking the time and doing these posts, Thank you for doing short...Thank you for being you. *here ends the gushing*


At 3:10 AM, Blogger Vive les Unas said...

Oh, thanks for udpate !!

I remember... This summer, I had dinner with some friends of my parents, next to a swimming pool. I was boring and I played with the dog, a little hunting dog, very...well, very like McKay ! The notion of "rest" didn't exist for him ! I lauched a tennis ball to him, and this ball just fly above the swimming pool. This little puppy, instead of waiting for his toy in the other side of the swimming pool, jumped and fall in the water.
I was so embarrassed !
Yeah, I know, not very funny for the dog.

Sory for my poor english, I'm french (from the FFFDH) !

At 3:12 AM, Blogger Witchy said...

I'm a new fan of the show and am getting one hell of a giggle out of your blog... It's fun to see the human side of the people in the little set in the corner of my living room. *g*

As you can tell by the name, I've had quite a bit of experience with dogs (yes, I have them and yes, I train them), but the funniest story comes from my childhood. We had an afghan hound (beautiful, yet not-so-bright) and a mutt (looked very much like Benji) and my mother (who was more proper than proper) was getting the house ready for a dinner party. She, in a drastic show of terrible judgment, left the dessert tray on the counter in the kitchen (and a beautiful dessert tray it was!). When she came around the corner, she witnessed a show of true canine team-work.

As the Benji-dog directed the show, the afghan was pulling cookies off the tray in a very determined manner - one for Benji, which was dropped on the floor, and then one for her, which was promptly eaten. One for Benji, one for her.

My mother watched this for a minute or two, wondering at the smarts of the little dog, until she realized her dinner party desserts were, in fact, going to the dogs.

Both dogs were in the doghouse for quite a bit with that stunt and the dinner guests got cheese and fruit rather than cookies, but my mother always used that story as an example of how fairness really does exist in mother nature.

At 3:18 AM, Blogger claire2281 said...

may even have to break out the suit I’ve been given from an upcoming Atlantis episode…an episode that you are going to completely freak out about…nuff said! (I really am evil!)

We can go off you, you know? At this rate you're going to end up being lynched by fandom before we get to the episode! :D

There's a dog story here that made me chuckle, about the Dutch speaking police dogs. Oh, and I also quite liked the story about the sheep in wellies and the tortoise who did a runner...

At 4:57 AM, Blogger Madelon said...

We have a dog.. Thady,, he's an idiot :P .
He CAN be very sweet,, but usually he's a pain in the ass.

I think its really awesome you do this.. Thank you :D .

At 5:03 AM, Blogger Jen said...

Sorry, I'm a cat person so no doggy tales (tails?) to share :o(

Have fun at the party and you know, we'd really like to see the photos of you after a few 'fizzy waters'. Upside down in a corner singing a song about a goblin......

At 5:11 AM, Blogger Jennifer said...

OMG David, I am so in love with you!

I can't wait to see McKay all suited and booted. *drools at the thought*

Funny dog stories.....ermmm....I had a teeny, tiny puppy lick my feet. He was soooo cute! *le sigh* I miss Berlin....

At 6:27 AM, Blogger aurore said...


Obviously, you weren't frightened by the numbers of replies to your first post. Good on you!

I didn't know about this guard dog story! Guess the dog's master is a big Elvis fan and that the poor animal maybe have been traumatised by a too strong daily dose of Elvis's songs. My bet is that "Teddy Bear" was played one time too much ;-)

Mars looks very ferocious on that picture. I'd bet you had to place the toy in his mouth. He looks like he's wondering what he's supposed to do. And he looks incredibly cute!

I wish you'd stop the tantalizing glimpses into SGA next episodes. This is driving us nuts. And you know we're liking it, you evil man!

If the suit you're talking about is the one I've glimpsed, McKay is going to be an easy target given the er, bright color ;-)
Speaking of Rodney being a target, I wanted to thank you for the way you delivered the "That didn't just happen!!" line in "Sateda". It made me laugh so much I thought I was going to burst something important! Thank for being the actor you are and giving us moments like this.

At 6:31 AM, Blogger Muffin said...

Heya David...

Hmm dogs well we have a Tricolor cocker spaniel named Fidgett. She certainly lives up to her name lets just say shes got some funny things she likes to do. My most fave is her anteater impression its stemmed from ever since she was a puppy. My Nan who is always knitting, knitted Fidgett a cardigan... not to wear just to destroy. Fidgett tho loves it and hasn't destroyed it to this day, instead she sticks her head down the sleeve. So you can imagine it she can now see nothing but shes got the end bit of the sleeve hanging hence the anteater. Then she wanders about simply believing that we can't see her. Its never grown old thats for sure! I'll have to remember to get a picture next time!

Thanks for keeping us up to date... enjoy the party! Don't drink too much fizzy water!


At 6:45 AM, Blogger Teknikal said...

Dia dhuit David!
WOOHOO!! another entry!!. there is nothing wrong with reading manuals!!! i read them aswell!! the only one in my family that understands them (ahem).
i remember that story!!hmm funny dog story..hmm..welll the only one i have witnesed.well actually 2 ( i have had an epiphany) was the neighbors dog getting distracted by the gleam of the owners watch and running head first into a concrete bird bath..unfortunately the bath split in half..the dog..unharmed!! and my sisters boyfriends dog chasing a white pvc pipe and forgetting how to stop....

i agree with willow rosenburg..gateworld is drowning in a sea of drool and squee-ing

At 6:56 AM, Blogger klo_the_hobbit said...

Whats with all the crazy critters in England? Its like the badger last year that went insane and attacked people so viciously, two policemen were called in. They then had to be rescued from the roof of their car where they had to take refuge from the badger. That still makes me laugh. Good times.
But really. I think mad cow has jumped the species barrier. Again.

At 7:28 AM, Blogger Tipsywitch said...

Yes, you are evil with the teasers. Mckay in a suit should be interesting.

Dad took Finnegan (not Flanigan)the irish red setter for a walk. We are in the Peak District in the UK so beautiful scenic countryside.
Dad returned without said dog. Finnegan seriously loved the outdoors and decided Dad was walking too slow and went off at his own mad pace. No amount of calling, cajoling or the promise of treats could lure him back. Dad sulked, Finnegan happy, end of episode.

Latest cross breed mutt in the family is a rescue dog, Asterix. He belongs to my sister in law. He has a tendancy to treat any gift wrapped package as his own and tears wrapping, foil, string, gift tags into small confetti pieces. Christmas gets quite interesting, hiding presents from the dog and not the family.

At 7:44 AM, Blogger Desiree said...

Well...on the subject of dogs and stuffed animals, I have my "puppy" Charm, who is really NOT a puppy. She's 11 years old and is a mixed breed (and I do mean mixed...we think she's part chihuahua, dachsund, terrier, and beagle). Anyway, we've had her for almost 3 years and she's NEVER shown any inclination towards playing with any stuffed animals. Well we've recently moved to a new house and all of a sudden one night, she just attacked one of my stuffed animals. She grabbed it off the couch and just started thrashing it around and just playing which, for Charm, is highly unusual. Now that toy is her's (it's a stuffed puppy) and every night we have to play with it for atleast an hour.

So fast forward to about 2 days ago. We were trying to get Charm to play with her puppy and out of nowhere, she goes and grabs one of my stuffed Piglets off the couch (I kind of collect them...have since I was a kid) and starts to thrash that one.

So yeah my calm, doesn't play puppy dog has decided in the last couple of weeks that something about my stuffed animals offends her and she's started terrorizing them. :)

I also have a chihuahua at my Dad's named Delenn after a character off of Babylon 5 (my dad and I are HUGE B5 fans). Well, normally we call Delenn 'Mouse' because she has this cute little mouse face and she knows when she hears 'Delenn' she's in trouble. So Dad and I start a mini Babylon 5 marathon and after a couple of hours I look down and my chihuahua is just shaking and twitching and looking from me to my Dad and back again. Turns out she'd been hearing 'Delenn' for hours and thought she was in trouble.

At 7:46 AM, Blogger Cyn said...

Hello, David! Hope you had a great time at the Stargate 200 party.

Funny dog stories. Hm. Well, last spring, my dog -- a Pekingese/poodle mix -- was out in the yard doing.. whatever it is dogs do in the yard to enterain themselves. Suddenly we hear barking and rustling and this really bizarre squeaking and rush outside. She had chased a bunch of baby bunnies out of their nest. A couple of them fell in the pool and the rest were making this chirping sound I had no idea rabbits made. Wesaved the bunnies from the pool and set them on the deck to dry. My dog got right up to them and started sniffing, but since they were too scared to move, they weren't so interesting to her anymore. She decided that looked like a good place to lay down for some sun too and plopped down next to them. I have photos somewhere in the mess that is my HD.

And that is the boringest story ever...

At 7:47 AM, Blogger stormysworld said...

Hi, what a funny dog. Great you write about for us.
SG parties must be very funny, what I will give to see it in real live.
I hope we see about in web.
We wish a very good weekend!

At 7:48 AM, Blogger tart said...

Wow. Apparently, I have owned the most boring dogs on the planet. I got nothing.

When I was a kid, I had a pet chicken that got caught out in a downpour and my mother had to put it in the oven to dry it out.

Hmmm. I guess that's not really the same thing, is it?

At 8:11 AM, Blogger Neth Dugan said...

Hiya, another entry!

In anycase, no brilliantly funny dog storys. My Dog, Holly (named after the computer on Red Dwarf) was adopted from a dog's home/rescue centre. Her mother had been a pure bred Staffie Bull, but her pups weren't and when her owners found out she'd gotten pregnent with pups that weren't pure bred they threw her out onto the streets. She was rescued, and mom and dad adopted one of the puppies, Holly.

In anycase, I have a cat, Sarah, and when Holly was still young, a few years old she used to lay on the floor whilst the cat tried to pull her eye lids out with her claws. And, strangly, Holly didn't seem to mind, kinda liked it from all indications. Strange dog, my Holly.

Also, she's a goat reincarnated (well, if you believe in reincarnation).

That's about the best Dog story I have. Except, she barks at balloons every august.

We have this Balloon Festival, here in Bristol every year, one of the major ones world wide I think. So, lots of balloons around, and lots of Holly barking at them to scare them away.

At 8:16 AM, Blogger Craig MacD. said...

That bit about the dog and the million dollar teddy bears was hilarious. Wish I had some funny dog stories to share but I don't.

Looking forward to the rest of Atlantis season 3 and seeing A Dog's Breakfast in full.

At 8:19 AM, Blogger Neth Dugan said...

*head bangs*

I should maybe run these things through spell check before click 'reply'. Get rid of the typos and all that.

All these years, and I still can't spell.

At 8:27 AM, Blogger maryavatar said...

My sister-in-law has the biggest, stupidest, soppiest dog in the universe, Mel. When she got him, she was told he was a lurcher. A few weeks later we realised he had to have been at least half Great Dane, because he just grew and grew and grew.

Anyway, my husband and I were staying with my in-laws and we came home one day to chaos. Mel had gone on a rampage through the house and eaten anything small enough to fit into his mouth (which is huge). We laughed and laughed. Until we found a chewed and empty bottle of codeine.

Picture the scene: me, hugely pregnant, sitting on a Great Dane/lurcher while my husband frantically tries to pour bicarb down its throat. There were enormous paws and squirty bottles flailing around all over the place.

Half an hour later Mel threw up, and we discovered he'd eaten: 20 - 30 codeine tabs, a box of chicken stock cubes (including wrappers and box), a pot of spaghetti bolognese, a bottle cap, a birthday card, an entire box of chocolate fingers, tweezers and a used disposable nappy.

At 8:28 AM, Blogger Jan said...

My funny dog story is not, alas, my own.

Back in the late 70s, when many swinging dudes of the day had huge, windowless, gas-guzzling vans, the man who was to become my brother-in-law decided that he not only needed a van, he needed an unusual van.

The fellow in question had a shaggy, bouncy English sheepdog, a huge mass of gray and white fur that I assume had eyes under there SOMEWHERE, though I was never able to prove it. The B-i-L decided that he would make the inside of his van look like the outside of his dog: fake fur on the cieling, fuzzy pillows, even a ping tongue-looking dangly thing for the rear-view mirror.

I was five at the time and thought the whole idea was the height of cool.

Ah, youth.

At 8:46 AM, Blogger Jan said...

I suppose if I am going to present other people's funny dog stories, I might as well point you toward the Pug Bowling video...

** stops procrastinating from translation and goes back to Latin **

At 8:47 AM, Blogger Lordsyla said...

Demat... or Hi!

It's so natural for a dog to eat some bears...
My dog, Pocket (and it's not a doberman...) has ate all of Teddy bears, and more, in my house. "Tis is the story of my life" Bon Jovi
But this story...
This dog has great tastes (always french...). If he wanted to eat something, why not priceless Teddy bears...
That remember me a story. It was in Great Britain. A post-office employee was distributing the mail and a little dog, like a chihuahua, ran through the garden (It said itself "I'm unbreakable!... I'm invicible!" Bon Jovi...)in order to eat (yes eat...) the post-man. But the guy didn't want this end for his life and shot in the poor dog which landed few meters away, dead... "7 minutes in Heaven" lol.
The RSPCA attacked him in justice and he was condemn to jail for few months...
If you understand... However, send me a mail I will explain me better or come on the FFFDH... Some friends let you the adress.

Otherwise, the best in friday that is the only day, for a student, he doesn't have to work... Gosh, I love that but it's not make a serie...
"Hey, ho! Hey ho! Je rentre du boulot!"

I expect the fiesta was great... 200 episodes! O_o Not to bad lol!
Maybe Atlantis will do the same.
For the moment, we are waiting to the 3rd season in France, next year...

Please, continue to post this kind of topic. So laughing! :D


At 8:47 AM, Blogger sims said...

hi David,
i love your blog and i love you on sga.
Keep up the good work. You are awesome.

need i say more????

did i tell you i think you rock as McKay????

At 8:47 AM, Blogger sims said...

hi David,
i love your blog and i love you on sga.
Keep up the good work. You are awesome.

need i say more????

did i tell you i think you rock as McKay????

At 8:48 AM, Blogger sims said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9:14 AM, Blogger Cate said...

I was just reading this morning about a dog who, in a previous life, was allegedly a jazz clarinet player in 1940s New Orleans. Perhaps this explains the poor Doberman's Elvis-bear rampage - a long-buried slight in some former life, finally vindicated half a world away? ;),0,7470258.story?coll=hc-headlines-northeast

At 9:32 AM, Blogger Wabit said...

Do remember that story, rotflmao at that one. I have one dog story for you. Check out the pictures and no words are neccesary.

At 9:52 AM, Blogger C.O.T.I. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9:54 AM, Blogger C.O.T.I. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9:55 AM, Blogger C.O.T.I. said...

I don't know if anyone has already mentiones this because there are a whole load of blogs to get through already but this was another dog in England who thought it would be funny to let all his pals out their cages in Battersea dogs home and have a party. Here's the link for BBC website :

At 9:59 AM, Blogger NayNay aka Nicki said...

David I love the blog, your fangirls are very excited!

My funny dog story...When I was 15 my first "serious" boyfriend came over to my house for the first time. Everything was going great until my mom's Cocker Spaniel came into the house. He walked up to my boyfriend, smelled him and then lifted his leg and peed all over him. I really should have taken that as a sign and dumped him right then and there.

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Jo said...

Hi there,

Can share some animal rescue stories... I am a firefighter for Epsom, Surrey in the UK and do battle with critters fairly often.

Dogs that knock down ladders, and leave their owners looking rather embarrassed from rooftops, while a grinning, waggy tailed dog is at the bottom.

Dogs that chase rabbits down holes, then patiently wait while 10 firefighters dig them out, and can't understand what the problem is.

Horses that fall in swimming pools.

Horses loose on the motorway.

Cats that get stuck in postboxes.

Sheep that get caught up in barbed wire, then run away looking like french poodles after we have cut large chunks of their fleece away.

And of course cows in trees.

yep, cows.

We thought it was a typo on the tip sheet, but when we turned up there surley was a massive heffer stuck ten feet up a tree.

Apparently she had climbed down a bank to get to a river for a drink, slipped and fallen forward. The canopy of the trees further down were of course 'cow height' and so was sprawled in a tree, legs and udders everywhere.

Not having 'cow removal from tree' equipment with us, she was in the end pushed out, landed with a loud MOOOOO, then regained her cow coolness and trotted of to the rest of the herd as if it was all perfectly normal.

But I gues that happens to everyone.

Jo, Surrey UK

At 10:15 AM, Blogger Flo said...

another dog story:
one morning our neighbours called my mother at her work because our dog Virus was in their living room!

Virus had had the fantastic idea to eat the metal fence between our two houses to look for company. and he managed to! we had to fix the fence but our beloved dog began eating it again and got to the neighbours' once more... in the end, we totally changed the fence for a brand new one. he tried but couldn't destroy this one (at least, he hasn't yet!)

if you want more anecdotes about Virus, no problem... ;-)

At 10:43 AM, Blogger heather said...

Dog stories.

One of the more tamer stories.

Two of my cattle dogs, in apparent impatience to perhaps go through the drive thru, drove my practice vehicle down an icy road and into a bull pine tree during an ice storm.

Being from the city. My first thought when exiting the shop and not finding my truck was that someone had stolen it.

However, the sound of a continously revving engine alerted me to the possible location of my vehicle.

I found the truck wedged dead center against a bull pine tree. One of the dogs was apparently still sitting on the accelorator spinning the back tires, kicking up snow, mud and debris. I skated/slid down the hill, opened to truck door to find one dog on the gas pedal and the other hooked by the collar to the shift. They exited the vehicle in due haste (to chase the horse around the paddock--why stop causing trouble when the day was so young?).

The truck was still running despite the popped the windshield, V'd hood, and headlights that faced one another around the concaved radiator grill.

The engine block was spared. My boss chained up his truck got to my road and pull my truck off and away from the tree.

Drove the truck down into town with front tires that refused to point in parallel direction, hanging my head out the driver's side window so I could see where to go. The hood was folded much too high to see over.The front tires wobbled, the poor truck hemorrhaged an assortment of fluids and engine lights blinked on and off across the dashboard like bad christmas decorations.

It was an interesting call to the insurance company.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger San5000 said...

Love the pic of Mars :-)

Hope you wear the suit! Then we'll all get to see it before the episode ::evil grin::

As for dog stories...well.. the in-laws have always had a dog.

Katie was a golden labrador....and she woudl eat anything.

She would wait for them to leave the house and then clamber up on to the kitchen work surfaces and EAT the knobs off the gas cooker! Finally, they decided the only course was to put her in the garage when they went out next.

When they returned, not only had she chewed all the wooden handles off the doors but she had split open a bag of salt (used the water softener) and eaten half of that as well!

Suffice to say, they never left her alone in the house after that :-)

Only other story I have is only funny now the years (and the trauma) have past.

I moved in with my fiance and his parents. They had an alsatian, and he was insane in the vicious sense.

When I came home each evening, I used to wait until he was barking and snarling at the front window, race in and up the stairs to get to the bathroom, usually with him close on my heels, and slam the door. After a while he would get bored and go back downstairs, then I'd sneak out and get to the room I shared.

I have the scar to prove the one time when I didn't make it to the bathroom on time!

At 10:59 AM, Blogger sueKay said...

another funny dog thing...

We'd always had carpets until a couple of years ago, when we opted for laminate flooring. At the time our dog Sophie was still full of energy. We took her out for a walk while the fitter put down the flooring, but when we took her back was the funniest thing.

She came charging in the front door and immediately started scuffling and falling everywhere. She looked like she was trying to tap dance or something! For a couple of years she turned it into a sport, jumping off of her chair (yes she has her own armchair) before skidding across the floor! She used to go head first into the radiators and the computer table, but she was always completely unfazed!

Suit you say? Can't wait :D

And of course, if you want to share photos of this party then by all means go ahead :D

Suz, Scotland

At 11:52 AM, Blogger Violette said...

I never owned a dog, but when I was a kid, some people in my neighborhood owned a Great Dane that used to like chasing little sports cars up the street. It was always a kick watching the looks on the drivers' faces when the caught sight of the huge dog behind them :-)

One day, while being a dutiful big sister, I took my 5-year-old little brother to the park to go sledding. On the walk there, we ran into that Great Dane, who apparently took a liking to my brother. The dog lumbered up to him, licked his face, put his paws on my brother's shoulders and shoved him into a snowbank. He proceeded to snatch the hat right off his head and then took off at a run down the street. My poor brother was too shocked to do much more than whimper a little. But, as kids do, he recovered quickly :-)

At 12:52 PM, Blogger Lizzie said...

Great story! I've had a total of 4 dogs since the age of 1, (i'm 19 now), so lots of stories.
One of my dogs Tipsy believed that she was a cat. Even though she was the size of a Collie she would jump up onto the windowledge and watch passersby; we used to laugh at the thought of drunk people walking past and seeing the 'giant cat'.
Ben, our Bull Mastif, Rhodesian Ridgeback cross, was even smarter then us. He would nudge his bowl across to us and growl whenever it was empty to tell us he needed water, as well as opening any door he wanted and using the entire sofa as his bed.
Jenny, our Black Scottish Terrier doesn't just tell us when her water bowl 's empty, she even picks it up in her mouth, empties the stale water out onto the floor and brings it to us!
And my first dog Jessy, who is now dearly departed, used to follow me everywhere. I once got on my bike to cycle to the beach, and I heard something behind me. When I looked it was my dog Jessy! She was running after me to see where I was going. She also once disappeared when we were on the hills near our beach. Searched for a whole hour, but couldn't find her. Eventually giving up and heading back home, we found her sat at the corner of our street, waiting impatiently for us! She looked very miffed.

At 12:58 PM, Blogger Cazilie said...

Dogs! The foundation of British culture!

I've got a Laborador, so blonde he's almost white. Think Andrex puppy (He actually loves the toilet rolls, but prefers them to die a horrible torn-up death rather than dragging them sweetly round the house).

Anyway, about a week after we got him, he worried us all by just collapsing, lying on the sofa huffing and panting. (think McKay at the end of 'Childhood's end') Anyway, small puppy gasping for air = very panicked owners!)

So we called the vet and hurriedly ranted off symptoms, all expecting a horrible diagnosis involving probes and needles.

But in true laborador fashion, Rocky had overeaten. Stuffed to the brim he was, but ill he was not. We breathed a sigh of relief, offered the vet our livelihoods/first born children (I was a little worried) and went to pet our poor ailing puppy.

Two days later he ate a pat of butter. Labbie's never learn.

As for pictures, he has his own site!

Thanks for the update David. Your entries are truly hilarious and keep we Brits going till our October installment of SGA!

At 12:58 PM, Blogger Carole said...

Mars is so cute! and this story remind me lot of souvenirs. My dog liked, no loved, bears. My favorite Care bears have lost his ears thanks to him!!

At 1:14 PM, Blogger Tahariel said...

My mother had when she was very much younger a little mixed breed dog called Toby who had a few interesting adventures :D

My father, who was dating my mother at the time, took Toby for a walk along the street above the beach near my grandparent's house by an ice cream shop with a large fake ice cream cone outside the shop and a long line of children waiting for their ice cream. Toby proceeded to pee on the cone right in front of them. Then, when taken down on the beach to avoid further incident, he peed on a deckchair that was sitting empty out on the sand. Unfortunately, he also managed to get the man's jacket that was draped over the back of it. My Dad walked away pretty quickly!

Toby also followed my aunt to school in the mornings, no matter how hard she tried to stop him. He would duck in and out of doorways behind her to prevent being seen until they were far enough away from home that she couldn't take him back.

I could go on and on...

I'm really looking forward to 'McKay and Mrs Miller', by the way, it sounds like it's going to be fun. I loved the crossover episode of SG1, as well, for the sheer 'everyone in the same show together' coolness of it :D I hope they do more of those, it was really fun to watch.

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Shado said...

Well don't know if mine is the funniest. When I was in college, I gave my boyfriend a Aussie sheperd mutt for a b-day present. He'd been wanting a dog and one of my neighbors was selling some older puppies. He was about 5 months old and very playful. John and his housemate had him for a week and handn't settled on a name yet. They'd left him in the kitchen one morning while they went to work. They had the forsight to put the trash can outside the baby gate they'd set up.

John came home for lunch and let the pup outside for a bit. Somehow the pup had gotten up on one of the kitchen chairs, jumped on the table and then the kitchen counter, he (John) thought to get to the bag of puppy chow they'd left on the counter. Needless to say when he walked in, the kitchen was in shambles. Coffee, flour, sugar, puppy food, etc. was on the floor and the puppy was happily entertaining himself with the unrolled the paper towels. He called me later to tell me that he'd decided on a name...Mischief. I asked what happened, 'cause there was clearly a story behind the name. After he finished telling me what he'd found, I think it took like 10 minutes before I stopped laughing.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Samantha Jayne said...


I had only had Malcolm (She's a Husky/Germen Sheppard) a few weeks when she went and did this. Well i put her in the shed where we also keep our new Ford truck had gotten it the same week we got malcolm anyways..One day I was walking by and noticed wire sticking out and was all over but I was in a hurry I think it was a Friday and I was going out that night anyways the next day I went passed it again and I had time so I looked under the truck and she had eaten the trucks breaks and other important wires. I had to get under there and put the wires where they belonnged just to get it back to the dealer ship so they could fix it.

It vost more then $500.000.

It doesnt sound funny but It is because Everyone asks me, Is that dog still alieve?

It is. :-D

At 2:06 PM, Blogger b said...

silly puppy story: one of c's friends visited her for a while with her puppy a long time ago. during the day when they were not home the puppy was on a lead in the back yard attached to the clothesline so he could run around about half the yard and not dig up the rest of it or eat things that are not good for puppies.

c's friend taught him to jump thru a hoop and he loved it and would get very excited whenever the hula hoop came out. he learned to just jump high thru the air if they said "hoop!" too.

one day they did not put the hula hoop far enough away from him, and that night they found him sitting on the lawn with one giant pink striped wing sprouting from his back. he had jumped thru the hoop over and over until most of the lead was wrapped around it, and he was SO pleased with himself. he ran up and down along the clothesline with the hula hoop bouncing against his back. someplace we have a picture of him grinning his big puppy grin with the hula hoop still on him. they did not forget to put it up after that though!

he was a australian sheppard and very very smart. he loved to herd everything, even joggers and other dogs and cats.

At 4:33 PM, Blogger Vesica said...

*facepalm* I am having one of those "I JUST threw that away" moments. When I originally read that story about the not-so-great guard dog it reminded me of a similar story from a few years ago.

I wish I could lay my hands on the clipping...but basically there had been a series of thefts from a manufacturing plant in Germany. They couldn't understand how things were disappearing, as the counts would be fine at the end of shift and then, come morning, inventory was missing.

With hidden cameras, they finally figured out that their guard dog really liked the shiny, metal thingambobs (how's that for technical details...) they manufactured. The guard dog had been playing with them, carrying them around in his mouth and eventually burying them all over the property. I think it took them a few months with metal detectors and they still never found all the missing items.

At 5:13 PM, Blogger Kim W said...

Sadly, I don't have a whole lot of experience with dogs. When I was 3, we had a German Shephard named Candy for a fairly short time. The dog had a skin condition and hated being in stuck in a small fenced in area, so she howled at night, until our neighbors forced us to get rid of her. However, I still remember feeding her twinkees, which she'd gulp up before I could get the wrappers off.

Later, I had an unfortunate incident with my uncle's poodles (yes, poodles), which caused me to fear dogs that weren't fenced in somewhere. Therefore, I've always been more of a cat person.

In recent years, my phobia has limited itself to a serious discomfort when around "friendly" dogs that bark at or jump up on me. Maybe someday I'll get a dog to totally get past the fear....

At 6:01 PM, Blogger Bek said...

oh man! How long is it going to take for you to wade through all these stories?

Since my dogs are only interested in getting themselves into life threatening situations (none of which are funny!) I've decided to include a couple of stories I read in the newspaper.

1. A black labrador called Archie, who got separated from his owner at a remote Scottish railway station, amazed his distraught master by simply jumping aboard the first train home all by himself. Not only did Archie catch the right train, he got off at the right station almost 20 miles away. Closed-circuit television footage shows the dog waiting for his master at the station before watching the Aberdeen to Inverness train pull in. Apparently, Archie decided to avoid the long walk home by simply hopping on board and getting off at the right stop

2. "Never, Never leave your car running with a dog alone in the car."
Although our dogs are obedient, sometimes our officers take a shortcut .... the officer was just hopping out to open a gate, she would only be gone for a few seconds, so she ignored the rule.

The dog jumped into the front seat, and while straining to see where his handler had gone, struck the gear shift, and dropped it into forward gear! His other paw struck the "spoke" of the steering wheel and cramped it hard right.
The car took off in slow circles. Fortunately, the car was on a large, empty parking lot (it was the middle of the night.), so as long as the dog didn't steer elsewhere, there was no immediate danger. For what seemed forever, the car merrily toured the lot, with the security guard trying to catch up.

Eventually, to add to our embarrassment, a police cruiser happened by, and one of the officers (who was obviously a sprinter), managed to catch up, reach in and switch off the runaway car. The officer was suspended. The canine car-jacker was let off with a warning.

And this for all the dogs that love to hate cats-


Officials from Sydney, Australia, recently filed legal action against a dog for chasing a cat. The charges relate to an incident when Bob the dog, spotted a neighborhood cat and chased the flea-bitten bag-of-fur for 100 feet before it escaped into the arms of its demented cat-owner.

At 8:47 PM, Blogger kamelion said...

Funny dog story, hmmm...

Well, I had a shitzu (saying the name is funny enough) named Watson. After the birth of my son, the family moved into an apartemnt complex with a courtyard and swimming pool outside.

Watson loved to play in the courtyard catching frisbees. Unfortunately he couldn't run with them, he would grip them by the lip, and they would fly up in his face as he ran. All in all he was pretty comfortable with the courtyard.

Now, one day he was out playing while hubby and I examined the newly scrubbed pool. The concrete surrounding it was white, as was the water, which was covered with this odd foamy fluff. From a distance it looked like one smooth surface. Watson apparently thought it was, because when we called him he ran right across the water for about four feet before submerging.

Long-haired dog and water do not a good pairing make. Hubby had to jump in after him, fully clothed.

Took a while for him to go outside again.

Love the blogging, always a joy to hear from you!

kamelion :)

At 9:18 PM, Blogger Elandria Lore said...

Friday's are definitely the best thing ever. When you don't end up having to work weekends that is:)

Hee! The image of the dog and the poor massacred teddy bears is adorable and I wish I had a fun dog story to share, but the cutest things that happen to me these days usually involve my niece and nephew. Though the sheer enjoyment that comes from hearing my four year old niece saying phalanges cannot be expressed in words. She's four! And she knew what it meant!

I do so hope that you had fun at the party. Hugs and kisses to you and the gang.

At 12:43 AM, Blogger Laura S. said...

Hi, David. As far as my roommate and I are concerned, you're the best thing about SGA.

My mother and I have two dogs, Molly and Saiida. A Chow and GSD respectively, they're both foundlings with unfortunate histories. They really love and want to bond with other animals--particularly cats (we have nine in our own little zoo). Molly is well-liked by our cats and her particular feline friend, Rosie, often goes to her for protection from the other cats. One evening, I walked into the room to discover that somehow Rosie had gotten herself tangled up in Molly's leash (attached to the doorknob, long story), and was suspended in mid-air and being squeezed about the middle. Neither of them seemed to notice that she was hovering a foot off the ground...until Molly saw me and tried to come over, further squeezing Rosie. Then that stubby little cat got quite indignant, and Molly just looked around, not knowing what to do, having forgotten Rosie entirely.

Sadie (no one can say "Saiida", it seems) is too rough for the cats, so she took her opportunity to bond with a puppy we found and gave to the people who live behind our neighbor. My mother came home the other day to discover that the puppy had managed to get through the fence connecting those properties and had decided that she had to get to Sadie. Not being a Dog Whisperer, my mother deduced this from the fact that a hole had been dug from both sides of our fence, and Sadie was attempting to jerk the puppy through the too-small hole--with its enthusiastic help.

At 1:57 AM, Blogger TCMJ said...

Not a dog story unfortunately, but I can report that my downstairs toilet exploded yesterday and emergency callout of a plumber was 120 quid.

On my birthday.

It's funny now...

At 3:10 AM, Blogger Liloow-Vena said...

huh no Hello!! sorry.

Oh I know I'm a millstone around the world's neck... I wonder In France (yesss I m french, I didn't change my nationality since the last time)when we say a stupidity like that we write next to it *boulet* which means what I say before, but in England, USA, Canada, Australia.... Do we act like that, Do I have to put "ball" or "millstone" between *stars*.

By speaking of this subject, a lot of fans think that Pete Shanahan is a millstone around Sam's and everybody's neck, infact. So I wonder, What does McKay think about pete?? Personnaly, I like this guy very much!! Even before David DeLuise came in a french convention.

Now the subject of your article: dogs!!!! Arghhhh I'm affraid of this pet. One day when I was young and innocent I even made a "100 meter" and jump a ditch to escape from a dog which wished only to play with me.
But I've to say that this story with teddy bears is very funny!!! (I'm also affraid of teddy bears... No!I'm laughing *ball*)

Poor teddies... dying in this conditions. I'll make one minute of silence for their souls...

And the picture now... It's your dog, isn't it?? he's very sweety on the photo...and he has beautiful looking.

"t'as de beaux yeux tu sais"
Is it eating a turtle?? Is it your turtle when you were younger?? *ball*

Well now,the episode 200.... I have to wait that it comes in France, in one year!! *cry* But I saw some extract and it seems to be very very funny.

Yesterday I watched "Duet" in VO (OV??) and I've to say that sometimes I didn't understand what you said because you spoke so quick for my little brain and my knowledges in english. So It's a piece of advice (not a order, far of me this idea!), last time when you'll play, speak calmly, pleaseeee for the frenchs!! You can do that? *ball* But you stay a great actor, and I still like your performances in this episode....

See you!!
Liloow (member of the FFFDH *ball*)

At 3:57 AM, Blogger Lizzie said...

Posted twice but eek I just remembered something my dog Ben did once. I'd made some lovely fried eggs, laid them out on the plate when the phone rang. I came back to my plate to find that the yolks, yes just the yolks, had been eaten. The whites still laid in the same positions, with holes where the yolk should be, and Ben looking at me innocently.

At 4:03 AM, Blogger Lizzie said...

Gah and I just remembered another one! I swear this is the last dog story. My Mom used to volunteer with a nightline agency, talking people through their problems etc. When Jenny was just a small puppy, her legs were too small to walk, so we used to carry her, but still on a leash just in case. When I got there to pick my Mom up, she'd already started walking home, and I got a call from her on my mobile. At this point, it was winter, so Jenny was snuggled inside my coat and held with the leash by one hand. The problem came when she heard my Mom's voice on the mobile.
She started squealing and wiggling, and as the conversation continued she got progressively lower inside my coat, until the point where I was half laid on the ground as Jenny had almost pulled my arm inside my own coat, as she slid to the ground and pulled me with her leash.
All the time of course I'm going to Mom. "No, we're both fine, we'll be home soon-" *Muffled noise as my head hits the pavement and Jenny makes to run off*
All I can say is that I've learnt my lesson, never answer the phone while tethered to a dog thats inside your coat.

At 4:19 AM, Blogger michelle said...

My chow-mix Tabasco used to be obsessed with Slim Jims. When we lived in Connecticut he used to jump the fence and run around town doing God-knows-what and pretty much wreaking havoc. Once he snuck into a convenience store and tore open and devoured ten Slim Jims before the clerk noticed and called to rip us a new one. My poor baby was sick for three days straight and hasn't touched a Slim Jim since.

Love the blog, and since I didn't leave a comment on the last entry, I too hope A Dog's Breakfast might be coming to DC.

At 4:58 AM, Blogger JoaneFlanigan said...

yeah, fridays are definetly cool, but being stuck in a jumper would be one of the things i would really like! i love the jumpers, just great!
hmmmm, dock-storys....i don't have a dog, i have only to cats. so i will look in the internet, i tink i will find a few things.
greetz joane

At 6:19 AM, Blogger Jane Jordan said...

Hey David
The only dog story I know is one that happened with our neighbours dog (an alsatian) and our cat (a big male tabby). We were talking with our neighbours over the fence, (which was wire, and separated our garden from their field, in which they kept horses.) Their dogs were hanging round and Tabby (our cat) came over and wander round while we talked. Next think we know there's a yelp from Bracken (the alsatian)...Tabby clearly feeling superior had smacked Bracken right in the nose with his paw.....and claws. Guess Tabby had decided to establish he was boss!

Hope the 200th party was good (was there cake?) and looking forward to seeing the suit (is the freaking out obligatory?)

Take Care

PS liking the themed pic, for the post!

At 6:20 AM, Blogger Liloow-Vena said...

Just a precision: when I wrote the other commentary I wasn't under drug or alcohol influence... I want it to be clear.

Sorry everybody ^^

At 6:51 AM, Blogger KaOs said...

Well, I don't currently live with dogs (I refuse to use the word "own" when it comes to canines), but when I was a kid growing up in Ontario (yes, we're everywhere aren't we?), my family occasionally raised wired-haired fox terriers, which are quite insane.

Among the most interesting antics I remember, was this one summer when we had a litter of 5 and, ironically, a two-man pup tent set up in the corner of our enormous yard. One evening they all decided it would be great fun to run into the side of the tent at full speed and bounce off at odd angles, usually landing on their backs or their heads. Then they'd get up, run the circumference of the yard, then lined up at the corner opposite the tent (they actually queued up) waited until the pup in front cleared, and made another run at the tent. We were stunned watching it, but we eventually put a stop to it because we were afraid they would get hurt. I have no idea how they figured it out, or how they got so well organized - it was just amazing.

At 7:19 AM, Blogger Auliya said...

That poor Elvis teddy! *not an Elvis fan, no not me :)*

I have four dogs and tried to think of the funniest story. It's hard to remember the funny stuff when there is four troublemakers.
I guess the funniest thing actually involves my best friends dog. She is a dingo, so we've been told. When I lived with my friend, we'd let the kids go out in the back yard and Lupa (the dog) would get this wild hair and play what we affectionatly call Child Bowling. My son and my friends twin nieces would toddle around the yard (ages 1 and 2). The dog would begin to run cirlces around the yard closer and closer to the kids until she would run right into them, knocking them over. They wouldn't get hurt and it just made us laugh so hard! She'd keep doing it too. Unfortunatly, toddlers are not like weebles and they continue to fall down!! Good times, good times!

David, dearest, you're quite evil about the teasers. I request you get a reset from Jane! (reset is a smack upside the back of the head...LOL)

At 8:10 AM, Blogger Jean said...

Happy Monday! Hope you had a good, film-manuals-ful weekend.

You're such a tease about SGA! Last Friday's episode was somewhat Rodney-lite, though the bits where he appeared are as awesome as always :)

Unfortunately any funny dog stories are still in my future.

Thanks for sharing another blog entries with us!

At 9:24 AM, Blogger RoaringMice said...

That dog just ensured employment for several tailors, who will be occupied with restitching and restuffing those teddies for the next...let's say, year. So, all hail the doggie for single-pawedly lowering unemployment in the UK.

Dog stories? I have no dogs, and thus no dog stories. I do have a pet story, though, if that works for you.

My daughter is now two and a half. When I put her to bed, she's supposed to stay there and sleep...and she used to. But now, she gets up (thinking she's doing this in secret, but I have "mom hearing", so I can hear her) and goes into my room. She hops up on our bed where the ancient cat is sleeping, and proceeds to "read" Dr. Seuss books to the cat.

I'm not quite sure if the cat appreciates the books. I've asked her, but she refuses to answer.

At 10:49 AM, Blogger JoaneFlanigan said...

it's me again, me and a friend i met in the internet (that's why i love chatting!:D)ähm, we want to shoot a movie, too. And i would be very thankfull if you could give us some advices, because i am 16 and he is 19 and we don't have any ideas how to do it best!
thanks joane!

At 10:55 AM, Blogger Angélique said...

First of all, congrats for the blog. It is really nice of you!
About a dog story, will try to tell you one but don't know if I can make it in English, but let's try!
Ten years ago, I had a beautiful female German Shepherd, Bella. Well, she wasn't really beautiful, but I thought so, cause she was my dog! lol
She had had two puppies and she was used to stay at home (in the garage) while my parents worked and my brother and I were at school.
One day, we came back home and we found out our home had become a battlefield... Garbage on the ground, two broken chairs,...
We were about to punish her when we saw something worse. The two puppies (crasse louloutte and super crasse louloute meaning big fat, and bigger fat ^^) were playing and tearing apart the new pull my mum had just finished knitting for me. I couldn't help laughing because I really didn't like it and I just guessed they did me a favor.
Hope you could understand something, my English is not so good...

At 11:44 AM, Blogger Acquired Source said...

Had a dog named Punk a few years back, and believe me, the name fit. He was a black and white Springer Spaniel shelter 'bargain'. Bargain turned out to mean the boy had more spring than brains.
Over time I'd ended up with a medium sized Piranha glued to a wooden pedestal. Hopefully more last-minute vacation gift, less subliminal message, but I rather liked 'Harry', for whatever reason.
One evening Punk took a fancy to Harry the Piranha and ate him. Yes, the whole thing; pointy fins, teeth and all. I only ever found was one glass eye and the partly chewed pedestal.
I waited and watched to see if it even produced a bellyache, but he bounded around as usual so I figured he wasn't due a call to the vet. He later chewed a go-cart to bits, and became fast friends with the neighbor's giant pot-bellied pig, Grumpy. I still believe they sat side-by-side at the fence and plotted Pinky-and-the-Brain style for how to take over the neighborhood. It seemed for quite some time whenever Grumpy escaped to terrorize the streets (at a slow, waddling trot) Punk was right there with him.

Then there was Joe the Schnauzer, who got into a bag of Hershey's Kisses - I know chocolate is supposed to be toxic to dogs, but apparently not this dog, because he had a knack for finding the sweets and sneaking off with them. I didn't realize what he'd done (and that he'd eaten them whole) until my back yard was glittering with a million little bits of foil a few days later.

I was recently 'adopted' by a stray puppy, so I suppose more stories are to come.

And guess the moral to the story is not to leave dogs unattended. Or in the company of pigs.

At 2:15 PM, Blogger Suki Blue said...


~snigger~ That's classic.

And hey with the teasing! Getting me worried.

The funniest doggy story I can think of is my friend's old dog. After a small gathering of people had dispersed for the night, she cracked her way into several cans of beer and drank the lot. The next morning this normally bouncy, waggy-talied mutt had such a hangover, she refused to get out of her basket and growled at anyone that got close.

On another occasion she polished off an entire saucepan full of curry. She was banished outside for rest of the day due to some pretty horrific smells. Urk.

When he was a mere pup, My own dog, Indy, who is a black Lab, attacked an entire twelve-roll pack of peach coloured toilet paper while I was at work. I dunno if you have the Andrex adverts where you are, but in the UK, the poster dog is this cute Yellow Lab pup that delicately drapes loo roll everywhere. And could my baby have done that? No. I came home to an entire living room covered in shredded peach coloured bog-roll. It was like a terrible snow storm with the Anti-Christ of puppies sitting in the middle of it all. I swear he was grinning, the little bugger. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

And this was after he chewed the stairs, the door, the kitchen door frame, pulled up the kitchen vinal, the living room carpet, ripped the sofa cusions in half and ate my ex's Playstation2 memory card. Whoops. A years worth of gaming down the drain. I still love him, though. The dog, that is ;o)

Loving SGA.


At 2:45 PM, Blogger Red Phoniex said...

Thanks for the update. Hope you have fun at the 200 party. If the suit is the blue one from the mid season ep, it goes with your eyes.

Read that story in The Sun, didn't find it funny. When we got our puppy i had hundards of teddys in my room, now i have one. I know the feeling of having it done and it aint pretty. I can't image how i'd feel if they were worth so much but one was from my old boyfriend and was the first (any only) valentine gift i every had. Wouldn't dream of every putting a dog down for something like that. My charlie's great, hates cats, cases rabbits, hates baseball caps and at 8, still acts 2.

Hope everythings going well. Can't wait for M&MM.

At 3:03 PM, Blogger Drake214 said...

Funny dog stories, hmmm... Well in Maine (my state) there is some strange dog-hybrid or something (but it looks like a chow-wolf mix to me) that was running around. People kept saying it was a "legendary beast", which I thought was strange.

Anyway, I've got a funny one now. My Golden Retriever, Odin, got scared of his own shadow once because it was on the ceiling.(don't ask me how) He crouched down with his belly on the floor and tried to inch his way out of the living room. Of course it kept "following" him, so he finally bolted. We didn't see him downstairs until the next day!

Thanks for posting again so early! I hope you enjoyed the party and I can't wait for the upcoming episodes of Atlantis!

At 3:17 PM, Blogger Wabit said...

YAY to SGA being renewed for a 4th season. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me the rumour about SG1 being cancelled is not true. Announced just after the airing of the 200th episode is a damm pants thing to do!!! Tring very hard not to swear at this moment in time. :-(

At 3:28 PM, Blogger PX7555 said...

That soooo sucks about SG1's cancellation, and at the celebration party? Aiee, that feels like the time we all got called in where I last work to be told we've all done a great job, but sorry, you're all laid off... I know precisely how everybody must have felt at the party :(:(

I don't mean to sound selfish, but I am glad SGA has been given a fourth season.

At 3:37 PM, Blogger samantha said...


Um...first? I love the show and McKay. Well to be honest i love anything you do. Yes i know i'm gushing but i really can't help it!

Sorry - no dog stories, but i did just read about Atlantis being renewed so just want to say YAY!!

I also read about SG1 being cancelled and i think the timing sucked. We haven't seen the new series over here in Scotland yet but still, cancelling before the 200th was appalling!

I really hope everything is OK on both shows and well... all i can say is that you've ALL got the fans support.

Again - i think you are brilliant.

At 4:22 PM, Blogger Patrick & Angela said...

That is just a hilarious story about the guard dog!!

Sorry but no dogs yet. We a 2 year old and a 7 month old who keep us plenty busy!! Hopefully when the boys get bigger we can get a family dog. Right now we only have a black cat named Maxie, a hampster named Cosmo, and a goldfish named Bob (my 2 year old named the fish bob and now he thinks every fish is bob :0 )

Thanks for the great dog story...I got a really great laugh!!!!!!!!!

Take Care :)

At 4:24 PM, Blogger JJMcKay-Beckett said...

I have a black Lab-cross that is around 60-70 lbs. and she still thinks that she needs to crawl up on me and be a lap dog. She also thinks that there are bugs on the bed sheets and has nip at every single one. Needless to say, my sheets don't have to go to church to be holy. She has since been banished to the floor...

At 4:31 PM, Blogger Juliette said...

Please be gentle this is my first blog. Hope I get this right..
OK. I don't have a dog story but I have a bird story. My bird thinks he is bigger than he is and has an attitude of a bull terrier. He has defended his territory against a 6'2" man and another bird 4x his size. My little defender is 11 inches long from beck to end of his tail feathers and he only weights 107 grams:) I think his ancestors were raptors from Central America. Dusty is his name and he is a Dusky Conure. So there is my dog(bird) story....

At 4:32 PM, Blogger Juliette said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 6:19 PM, Blogger mhera/lemonchicken said...

Hi! By your request, here is a funny dog story:
I have a young terrier, who's just curious about everything. There's a bird feeder out back, which the dog loves to sit and watch as the birds come. He's also quite smart, for after days of watching them, studying them, he figured out a clever way of getting close to them.
Theres a bush near the feeder which the birds will fly to and from while eating. So, the dog waited 'till the coast was clear, trotted up to the bush, and hid beneath it. The next bird that came got a shocking surprise as the dog leaped out of the bush!
I dont know where he gets these crazy ideas!!!

Thanks for posting, we love hearing from you.
Though I have a question I can't seem to find an answer to: Are you really allergic to lemons? or is it just a McKay-ism? lol

At 6:22 PM, Blogger NeverTheLess said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 6:22 PM, Blogger NeverTheLess said...

I got pecked in the head once by a parakeet

At 7:59 PM, Blogger kamelion said...

Congrats on season four!!

Just thought I'd throw that in there.

At 8:04 PM, Blogger dana said...

I'm afraid I have no funny dog stories. I have a sad one, well a couple, involving a dead kitten.

But I'll keep that one to myself (but now that I think about it, I find it funny, in a dark twisted way).

SGA is frustrating, I'm going from 'OMG, you are all evil, I hates you all' to 'OMG, I want to have everyone's babies'. I'm starting to feel a bit ill from the extremes.

With that, I'm going back to work. Be good.

At 8:14 PM, Blogger Patricia said...

My friends' dog developed a taste for her underwear, which is not an especially good trick when company's over but much less painful than their other dog (a lab/doberman cross, they think), whose destructive habits included munching insulation, ripping out solar lighting and, finally, tearing through a down comforter and into the mattress beneath.

Another friend's dog would go crazy whenever a fly was around. No one could say the word "fly," because he'd think a fly was in the room and would run around barking, trying to find it. It got to the point that all I had to do was suddenly cock my head and look as if I'd spotted a fly, and it would set the dog off.

At 8:19 PM, Blogger shearebliss said...

When my son was born, our Sheltie Max was extremely ticked off, and decided that the baby simply did not exist. This wasn't a real surprise for the first few years, but since I was fairly strict about treating the 'gog' gently, I hoped that Max would get over it. Instead, he not only continued to ignore the Boy when he was old enough to call Max intelligibly, he suddenly 'forgot' how to fetch the newspaper, shake paws, heel and another half-dozen foolish pet tricks my sister had taught him.

This state of affairs continued until the Boy was nearly five, and it was spring, and Max was delighted to be running free outside, doing the sheepdog herding prance in front of our townhouse. He was so delighted, in fact, that he apparently forgot he was ignoring the very existence of the Boy, and when the Boy also pretty excited, called him, he trotted happily over until, about ten trots away from the Boy, he suddenly recalled his position on the existence of human pups and stopped dead in his tracks.

The really hilarious thing was his completely mortified air, right own to the suddenly drooping tail.

So no murdered teddy bears, unfortunately, but it did take Max a while to live down the embarrassment.

At 8:51 PM, Blogger Annie said...

Do robots count as real dogs? Back in 1980 I was in England to interview Tom Baker (for a now defunct magazine called "Fantasy Empire") and so I got to spend a day on the Doctor Who set. One of the highpoints was being goosed by K-9. I was standing between Tom Baker and John Nathan Turner and couldn't imagine who was doing that. Turned out to be K-9's attenna extension. And John Leeson then thought it was hilarious to make the robot dog chase me around the TARDIS control console (which was made out of cardboard, btw), which, since I happened to be wearing high heels, must've looked absolutely amazing *G*.

At 9:55 PM, Blogger Trouble said...

'fluff lust' .. Oh, the places you can go.

Our dog had a pillow we refered to as "The Girlfriend"; Quinn would drag 'her' from room to room on 'dates'. It's pretty amazing what you can ignore in front of company on Thanksgiving.

At 10:13 PM, Blogger Kara McKay said...

I’d always been under the impression that I was a cat person – until my husband and I got our first dog. Baby Bear was a rottweiler, and he was best known for his sweet nature and utter stupidity. He’d lay perfectly still while kittens crawled over his front paws, and he’d also periodically half-drown in his water bowl because he never quite figured out its depth. Throughout his entire life, Bear suffered under the delusion that he was a cat, and once we had to take him to the vet after he attempted a jump from half-way down the staircase while playing with our little white cat, Booger.

I could tell you stories about Bear from now until judgement day, but I’ll stick with one for the sake of brevity. One of Bear’s most endearing traits was his enthusiasm, and whenever my husband or I walked through the front door, Bear would dance, jump, and otherwise go completely berserk with joy. We could usually hear him barking from the driveway, and as soon as we opened the front door we’d have 130 lb. of ecstatic dog on our hands.

Well, one day while my husband was at work, I went out with my sister. She brought me home, but instead of getting out of her car immediately, I stayed to finish the conversation we’d been having. Baby Bear, who’d been leaping up and down by the living room window, apparently felt that it was taking me way too damned long and so decided that he’d come out to see me if I wouldn’t come in to see him. Next thing I knew, instead of jumping up and down by the window he was running towards it.

He hit the glass and sailed right through it to land in the bed of day lilies. My sister screamed, and both of us were out of the car inside of about 3.5 seconds. Nothing daunted, Bear shook off the fall and immediately began leaping and prancing in the flowers. As it turned out, Bear was fine – aside from a couple cuts on his nose, the vet pronounced him safe and sound later than day.

Unfortunately, there was one witness to Bear’s stunning (and never repeated) performance, and that was the mailman. No amount of talking ever persuaded him to believe that Bear hadn’t been intent upon eating him alive, and I don’t suppose I can blame him for that. I bet you’d be a little nervous too if you saw an adult male rottweiler apparently leaping through a window at you. From that day until our move to the country, we never received mail more frequently than twice per week, and the mailman always delivered it by rubber banding it and throwing it from the sidewalk.

At 10:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, I should not be laughing at the idea of the guard dog destroying what he's meant to be guarding, but funny.

But our poor dog found...uh, something interesting to roll around in--not sure what it was, and I don't think I want to know--and despite three baths, we ended up having to shave her. Akitas look very...interesting hairless, that's all I can say.

At 11:15 PM, Blogger korean_turte87 said...

Oh Sweet. You have a blog. This is so cool. Poor teddy bears...well, at least they don't have any nerves^^ Are you releasing "A Dog's breakfast" on dvd or something? Because I'd really like to see it

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Mrs Korber said...

When you're done with all the film stuff, try Naomi Novik's Napoleonic/Dragon series. I know, sounds wacky. But it sort of works. And, you know, dragons. And John Varley's got some cool stuff out, too.

As for wild dogs, our family dog has vengeance chewing. Peeved at me, she rooted through the stack I'd left on the table, somehow deduced which was my favourite and nibbled all the edges to let me know that she. Was. Not. Happy.

Crazy beasts.

Too bad they're so darn cute.


At 12:10 AM, Blogger Lauren said...

My dog story involves my aunt's Golden retriever, Rebel. (And does he ever live up to his name, that rogue) It was Thanksgiving a few years ago, and instead of eating immediately, we all sat in the living room to talk while the food was left on the counter.


There we were just sitting there, chatting away, when Rebel waltzes right on into the living with with the entire turkey in his mouth. He sat down right in front of my aunt, too, like he was so proud of himself. Needless to say, we enjoyed a turkey-less Thanksgiving dinner that year.

And that's all I have to say about that. :)

At 2:42 AM, Blogger matimo said...


i discover your blog and i think this idea is great.
A celebrity who share a little time is rare.

Moreover, i could read english discution, so it's great

PS: okay,i know; it's an useless post :D

At 3:45 AM, Blogger Annie said...

This is a little mean, I guess, but I used to sit on the couch inside and throw a ball for my dog Kes, out through the sliding glass doors into the back yard for her to fetch. (Hey, I got tired of throwing balls standing up, okay?). One day, I tossed the ball, saw Kes take off like a streak of light, heard a crash and realized I'd forgotten to open the glass doors. Funny, Kes never wanted to play fetch with me after that.

At 7:03 AM, Blogger flubber said...

Hi there David.

Nice of you to find the time to update your blog.

I love Fridays too. That's because Friday is the one day that I get off every week,(except on the days that I agree to work overtime!! snark!)

I have two dog related stories.

The first was when I visited a friend of my mum and dads who had a long haired golden retriever. I was sitting in their front room on the floor, watching tv. I must have had a patch of bare skin between the bottom of my top and the top of my skirt, because I felt something wet on my back. I brushed it off and went back to the telly. This happened a few times and when I looked round, I found the dog on his side with it's head by my back. It had been trying to get my attention because I wasn't taking any notice of it!! In fact it didn't stop nudging me until I gave in and gave it some fuss.

The second is about the perils of underestimating a dog! This dog belonged to another friend of my mum and dad's. It was a wire haired daschund. By anybody's standards it was an odd shaped dog. It looked like a fur covered cylinder with all the doggy parts attacbed. Anyway, it wasn't very big,didn't look that manacing and certainly didn't look very strong!! Everything was fine until we were walking down by this stream. Next thing I knew I was pulled about half a meter forward nearly loosing my balance and this dog was straining at the lead to get away. Now, I was, (and still am!!) a lass of considerable stature if you catch my drift. So the only way to control the dog, after I had regained control of myself, was for me to put both hands on the lead and lean back using my weight to steady me. I can ony imagine what it must have looked like!! It was a close contest but I managed to win,but only just!!! I don't think I walked it again after that though!!

Hope this at least raises a smile!

Hapy trails and Fridays rule!!

At 7:31 AM, Blogger KaOs said...


I know this is sort of off-topic, but you mentioned that you were reading camera manuals, etc.

I just finished an absolutely fascinating book called "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud. Yeah, It does happen to be about comics, but it is also the best book I've read on the art of storytelling, and certainly applies to filmmaking. Of particular note is the discussion of object vs. subject in chapter 2, how abstraction subjectifies and realism objectifies characters or objects.

Anyway, it was an illuminating read, and fun because it was in the format of a comic book.

Congratulations on season 4 of SGA!

At 11:27 AM, Blogger C.O.T.I. said...

I have a question. Why does Mars look like he has the worlds biggest tracking device stuck to his ear??

I like Mars' face in the promo picture. To me it says 'You're boring me - where's my biscuit' My dog had that exact same look!

At 12:56 PM, Blogger valderys said...

*waves* Nice to see you again, David. Can't wait to see the new threads :)

Here's a little cartoon for you - How To Be Happy. It's more cats than dogs, but there's a dog in it, and it made me smile...

At 2:13 PM, Blogger Ashley said...

I bet my cringe-inducing midwifery manuals beat your dull film manuals...mine have pictures that make men blush...humorus when reading on public transit though...
Dog stories...
Ooh my grandma once had this adorable Pekingese. Beatiful dark orange and red with brown and black aswell. Ironically the exact same shades as their shag carpet! Needless to say that dog got step on more than the welcome mat. It blended in perfectly when sleeping. And considering the couches were similar she tended to get sat on a lot too.

Also, my pug (named original) was left alone. In a roughly an hour he managed to eat half a pack of cotton balls, a good portion of the toilet roll, a bar or soap and a lady's bic razor...and live! I think he may have eaten various coins along with that as well but I can't quite rememeber.

Can't wait for A Dog's Breakfast...good luck!

At 4:27 PM, Blogger Peregrine said...

lol That dog story is just too funny. I can just see it now--fluff flying, arms scattered around the room, blank, staring button-eyes filled with pain and terror as globs of drool drip from the floors and walls.

lol Too many horror movies.

More often than not my sister and I have been witness to fluff-murders committed by my own pooches. Gotta love them, despite it, though. lol My smallest dog once chewed a hole through our wall. Funny, 'cause it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger... lol

Oh, and may I mention that I am so floored to find a blog by you? Hope you don't mind a total fangirl saying that, but there it is. And as a total fangirl, Gater and nerd, I look forward to future posts... in the future. Thankee!

At 4:41 PM, Blogger Spubba said...

Excellent! Just got linked here by a friend, and I'm gonna put you on my radar.

Sorry, I can't hook you up with any dog related stories, since all I have is this... thing that my husband and I rescued from HRS. I've been told that this unholy beast is supposed to be a rabbit, but if you ask me, it's just a miniature self-contained demolition unit. My house will never be the same.

Re: the rest of your entry... Am crossing my fingers for the future of SG:A, since it's one of the FEW shows I bother to watch these days. And hoshit, dude you're busy! You sound like me, though. I, too, read tech manuals for fun. You are not alone. *sagely nod*

At 5:59 PM, Blogger Mandybear said...

wow I can't believe you have a blog:)I llooovveeee you on Stargate Atlantis even though i'm 16 and your older.....Would you by any chance know when Stargate Atlantis season 2 is going to be aired on the Space channel?Or when it's going to be avaliable to buy in Canada? It makes me so sad that the U.S. has already started airing season 3 and Canada's still on season 1 even though it's filmed here. Oh the evilness:(

Anyway as for dog stories I have a few about my dog Loveybear. She's a Shih Tzu and is now about 8 years old and a pretty small dog maybe 2 feet long and about 20 pounds. My sister picked her along time ago wherever it is people choose puppies.I had been shopping with my grandma and my sister had been shopping with my mom. Afterwards a lot of people in my family were going to my grandma's for dinner.So when I went back to her house I saw a little puppy running around and I asked whose it was and everyone kept telling me it was mine.I didn't believe them and thought they were pulling my leg because I had a grumpy cat.After dinner my mom, sister and me drove home with the dog and I realized it really was mine.My cat was definately not happy about getting a dog.

Last christmas my aunt and cousin got Loveybear one of those green denta bones that are supposed to be good for dogs to chew on. Loveybear loves denta bones and when she has one you can't go near her because she snarls and growls and acts like she's going to bite you even though she has a bone in her mouth. Loveybear had a denta bone before this and it gave her diarrhea so we decided we'd give it to her for a little while and then take it away.Things did not go as planned.When we went to go take it away she started her usual snarls so I picked her up and my mom went to take the bone out of her mouth. Lovey started trying to hold the bone desperately in her mouth while growling. I think she tried to bark and suddenly the bone disapeared. At first we thought she dropped it but we looked around and couldn't find it and then we realized she must have swallowed the whole thing.So I put Lovey down and she started looking around desperately for her bone because she really is that dense and for the next 3 days she was constipated.

When Loveybear was about a year old she got pregnant puppies and I was really excited. After they were born me and my sister would sometimes put them in barbie cars or in my barbie speed boat and drive them around the house. I was in grade 3 at the time and my teacher said I could bring the puppies into class.There were 5 Annabell,Mary,Chocolate Chip,Suzie-Q,and Coco Pants,the only boy and the one I named. So I brought the puppies into my class and all the other kids were really excited and wanted to pet them and hold them. I had told one of my friends(Trevor) that I was bringing my dog's puppies in and he made me promise to let him hold one.When the day finally came he held one of them and then started crying and screaming saying it had pooed on his leg and there really was poo.The teacher told my class that the puppies had to go back in their kennel and I felt really embarrassed and then in the middle of his screaming and crying Trevor took the poo off his leg and threw it at me I was so grossed out I started to cry. Trevor started laughing and went over and picked it up and showed me that it was really fake rubber poo. I was really mad at him after that.

P.S. I own the first season of Stargate Atlantis and in one of the extra's you were having a lollipop and my mom said it was probally because you either smoke or used too and I was wondering if that was true or if you just love candy as much as I do.It's a weird question but oh well.:P

At 10:19 PM, Blogger Frances said...

When mum was a kid her dad used to retrain old police dogs. So one time he had this one that had been retired for being too savage. And he took it carefully around the family, introduced it to everyone, all was well.

So of course mum gets home an hour later and discovers they'd forgotten about her. Um, ouch.

At 7:06 AM, Blogger Peregrine said...

I only just thought of a dog story that you could, if so tempted--or not, could add to your collection of canine catastrophies...boy, I need to learn to spell. Anyway: our largest and youngest dog Merlin is a mutt--we're thinking German Pointer and something else. Anyway, beside the point. The point is, I was outside on the front lawn with my sister star-gazing with my best freind over the phone. My sister let Merlin out into the yard because it was night and no one was around. He ran around for a few minutes and then decided he wanted to go back inside. He goes galloping across the yard, leaps up the steps and soars into the house--or he would have if the storm door hadn't been closed.

BAM! Slams full-tilt into the glass door. I have no idea how is iron head didn't break the bloody thing, but somehow he didn't. It was funny, though. It was like watching a bad Scooby-Doo cartoon. He was flying through the air and then just stopped, his ears flying out on either side of his head and his body doing that sort of acordian-scrunch before he bounced off. He was fine, of course--that dog could fall down a flight of stairs and come off with not even a bump... wait, he has--just a little dazed and none too eager to try to go back inside again even when the door was open. I guess his thinking was if he couldn't see it the first time, how do we know it's not there now?

Sorry, just had to share. :D Keep blogging away, David. We love to hear from you.

At 9:00 AM, Blogger susan said...

I must admit I related the story of the now ex-guard dog doberman to everybody that I met for days.

There was a picture in the Scottish version of the Daily Mail of one sorry looking dog surrounded by 'bits' of bears.

In the long run the bears are merely objects and in my opinion the dog is of much more value than any of them. I did not feel like that when my puppy ate my teddy bear's foot 25+ years ago though.

I have tons of funny cat and dog stories - but I am keeping them for my 'book' that I will write one day - yeah!!

At 4:15 PM, Blogger Jan said...

The Toronto International Film Festival just posted the list of films showing there this fall, and alas, Dog's Breakfast is not on the list.

My heart is cleft in twain! Mars will be a much more gracious presence on the red carpet than many of his human colleagues -- it would have been a joy to see him out-cool them.

His good points-- infinitely more friendly to his fans than many stars. His bad points-- tends to drool on autograph seekers more than most (though, sadly, not all) stars.

Here's hoping you find a few good venues for ADB soon, and all goes well.

At 6:03 PM, Blogger susan said...

When I was a teenager my mother told us that we were getting a puppy - after 16 years of pleading I was ecstatic. It was a bulldog crossed with a GSD, the only puppy in a litter and so small and cute.

However once she brought it home it turned out to be a GSD crossed with a Bull Mastiff - much, much bigger. He grew up to be like Scooby Doo. He was a human in a dog suit.

His favourite game was sitting at the gate, innocently watching the world go by. Every day a guy passed with about 6 Afghan Hounds on one of those branch leads. Hutch (it was the 1980s!) used to wait until they were all passing the gate, jump out and bark deeply and loudly at the group. Then he sat back down and watched the man try to control his hounds, as the skittish dogs went into full panic mode. Dogs can laugh, and our little angel was certainly laughing. The man called our innocent doggy quite a few nasty names.

Beats me why he didn't just take a different route.

Hutch died in 1988 and his antics are still brought up at reunions between my brother and myself.

At 6:35 PM, Blogger charlotte said...

oh you wonderful man fueling the fangirls of the net! on behalf of my fellow complete geeky ladies- WE LOVE YOU! BLOG MORE! lol. so anway no a dog story- but a funny cat one. my Family are from Bradford, England and when i was younger we had a mean and vicious cat called Rupert. my mum decided to take Rupert to the vets to have him put down since he kept trying to kill her three daughters (personally i prefered the cat to my sister!). on the way Rupert escaped from his box and ran off (wise creature) so she though nothing of it and drove home. a week later in the local news there was a story about a Asian Family who had been attacked in their home by 'a rabid beast'- turns out Rupert had found a new home!

At 3:21 AM, Blogger Zabbers said...

Not my own, but one of my favorite dog stories: Chief, an Alaskan Malamute named after Miles O'Brien (and who lives in Canada, I think! To take advantage of the lovely cold weather), likes to sing along to the theme song of his favorite show:

The final frontier, woo-woo.

At 4:51 AM, Blogger thechibiwhatlurks said...

Ahhh... film manuals. Tell me you're not only reading Western? Because Kurosawa and Oshima pretty much kick Western film's butt... (not that I'm jaded or anything...)

Sadly, I'm such a cat person I have no dog stories. although I do have many, many stories of waking up at 6am to find *live* *animals* in my bed, and very proud cat. guh. moles do no equal good morning.

At 1:32 PM, Blogger mhera/lemonchicken said...

Another tail-wagging story:
My dog likes to believe he's brave.
If anything is out of place around the house, it frightens him, and he'll bark at it until someone walks over to whatever it is, touches it, and then the dog will approach it wearing a sheepish grin, probably thinking "right, I knew what it was, just testing you."
But it gets funnier ...
(For those of you with cats and dogs, you'll know what its like attempting to get the two species to interact).
He'll go after the cat, barking excitedly, but keeping his distance, because cats hiss and lash out. Then the dog will run between my legs, continuing to bark at the now angry cat - gee, thanks, while the dog's saying: "Dont worry, I'll protect you ... but you go first".
And then there's trying to get him to go out when its dark ...

At 2:18 PM, Blogger Ana B said...

Hi David! How's it going?!
My name is Ana, I'm from Brazil... and I just wanted to let you know that I'm a hardcore Atlantis fan!
I've been following since the very beginning and now I follow season 3 throught the Internet, which I'm absolutely loving so far! With every single episode, it just keeps getting better and better! So you can definetely spread out the word to the Atlantis cast and crew that you're all making THIS brazilian fangirl incredibly proud!

Don't worry, I'll shut up about the show now! I'm not gonna start rambling on about how much I love McKay 'cause you know, nobody deserves a kiss ass, right?!

Anyway... loved the fact that you've created your own blog!
Man, I wish I could watch your movie! I was really looking foward to it, but us brazilians are born under this tiny "lack-of-movie-distribution" curse... so, I'm 99.9% sure that it won't be released here! But still, I wish you good luck with it!

Oh, and by the way, the guard dog story was indeed really really funny! I'm a journalism major at college, so getting info like this is always welcome for me! Thanks for sharing it!

Alrighty then... I've bugged you enough for one day! I'm gonna stop writting for good now!
Keep up the awsome work on Atlantis and once again, best of luck with "A Dog's Breakfast"! =D

At 8:32 PM, Blogger ginx said...

David Hi!!

I have a great story about "toobing" down the Frio River in Ts., a swimming BAT, a blood-curcling scream, amd my 80lb yellow lab Cocoa catapulting into my lap...but today I want to tell you about my dog Sandi.

There is a very special joy in watching a shelter dog come to life under a kind touch, a little TLC, love so easy to give.

Sandi, a 3 yr. old lab mix, was a Christmas gift from our daughters. I don't think she was terribly abused, but she was scared, wanting to please but not knowing how. Since then she's bloomed..happy, silly, allowing it back. What a Gift!

I highly reccommend adopting a shelter-tended pet. You won't regret it!

Speaking of gifts, it's so great that you are sharing your real life with fns this way! Your's is a rare and special talent, and is very much appreciated by this fan!

Wishing you much joy in life,


At 8:35 PM, Blogger ginx said...

sorry for all the typo's, arrgh, copy editing is your best friend!!!


At 9:51 PM, Blogger Emrys said...

Hmmm. Funny dog story.

Here’s the one that sticks out most in my mind. It's about a flying dog (no, not in an on, you'll see):

My family had a rottweiler/lab mutt for some time (he died prematurely from a disease typically found in rotties). Anyway, this dog (named Shale, because my sis and Dad found him as a puppy sitting in the shale banks near our house), he absolutely loved fetching things. Toys, balls, sticks, literally anything you threw, he’d be more than happy to fetch.

He also loved hanging out in the back yard while the family was out there. My dad set up a system to allow him to join us out back, and to fully appreciate the next part of this story, you really need to understand that this system included a cable that was connected from the back porch to a young maple tree that was set half way down the yard. Shale could be hooked up by his collar to a line attached to a pully that fit over the main cable. Basically, the system allowed him to run half the length of the back yard.

Anyway, I can be quite an idiot at times. Okay, lack of segue for that admission, I know, but I have to preclude the next part of this story with a declaration of periodic idiocy. You’ll see why in a minute.

Okay, so I really loved this dog, and one day, to demonstrate just how much I did love him (and how much of an idiot I can be), I threw him a tennis ball from where I was standing near the back porch.

Problem was I threw it too hard.

Next problem was it got past Shale.

Third problem was Shale ran full tilt, like the goon he was, after the ball.

Fourth problem, actually, the problem that made me realize that there was going to be a major problem very soon, was that the ball moved quickly past the end of Shale’s line.

What happened next, well, it was absolutely amazing. I saw it all in that slowed down way that you see things when you suddenly realize that you’ve just done something incredibly stupid, so I remember it very clearly.

Shale, although full of heart as he ran after that dang tennis ball, soon demonstrated as much intellectual acuity as I had when I threw the ball so hard. In fact, his heart was so full, and his brain was so empty at the time, that he never stopped running after the ball. And when he reached the end of his line, I kid you not, he went flying!

If anyone ever doubted Newton’s first law of motion (although, really, why would you?), all questions would be put aside upon seeing that Shale became instantly airborne when he reached the end of the line. Literally, airborne. Meaning that all four of his feet lifted up off the ground and pointed to the sky. The body of this 75 pound dog, attached to a cable by his neck, flew around the maple tree like a loopy bird with a serious ear infection. He made a soaring circle around the tree (while I screamed hysterically), hung in mid-air for what seemed like forever (at least to me, because I was still screaming hysterically), and then lightly landed on all four feet to look at me as if he were saying, “What just happened? Why are you screaming? And where the hell is my tennis ball?”

That goofy pooch was just fine (I wasn’t. I think this incident most likely took two years off my life. At least.), and I swear, he looked like he wanted to try it again.

What a silly kid. And a great dog (with a strong neck).



At 9:55 AM, Blogger neamhai_cailin said...

Very funny story. Poor poor teddy bears! Dog are just crazy. I had a dog about 1 year ago, and he was a nut. Try as I might to prevent it, he just wouldn't stop eating things! I locked up all the doors and cabinets that lead to anything even remotably eatable, yet if I left my purse out, he'd unzip it with his teeth and eat all my gum or breath mints. When that wasn't even an option, he'd eat crazy things like ant traps or curtains. There was the insident of Halloween 2004 when he ate 2 bags of candy corn and a fake witch's nose. I guess that's what you get for having a Beagle as a pet, though. He was a tough one, too; he only died last year and that was from old age!

Good luck with the show and the release of the movie! I can't wait to see it. I'm a big fan.

At 12:11 PM, Blogger all4dogs said...

I love dogs. I've always had them. I currently have 3 of them. I have lots of funny stories, but here's one that always makes me and my friends laugh:

I had a 10-year old Shih Tzu that was a rescue dog. His name was Oscar (after Oscar the Grouch) because he loved to growl & he was kind of stinky. At the time I had a macho, athletic (soccer player), Latin boyfriend, Luis. Needless to say, Oscar didn't discriminate when it came to growling. Luis didn’t like Oscar. And, believe me, the feeling was mutual.

One night, Luis commands me to put my adorable little Shih Tzu out! I lived in San Francisco at the time & it was cold outside. No way was I going to do it. So, Luis gives me the ultimatum: “You choose. It’s the dog or me.” I said: “Goodbye Luis”. Luis was stunned. He stomped out.

About 10 minutes later my phone rang. I didn’t answer it, but rather let it roll to my answering machine. The message was priceless:

Luis: “I have decided to give you one last chance. But, if zee dog attack me, I will have to defend myself!”

I was doubled over laughing thinking about this machismo, athletic, 6-foot-something man attempting to defend himself from a little 10 lb. dog.

At 5:29 PM, Blogger Erynn said...

Congratulations on season four, David. I was thrilled to hear about SGA's renewal! I hope to see lots more of you and Paul and the others on my tv screen in coming years.

At 6:13 PM, Blogger Beth G. said...

After watching the preview for the Stargate: Atlantis episode 'McKay and Mrs. Miller,' I've figured out David Hewlett's secret. The author of this blog is actually an alternate universe David Hewlett, busily typing away and thus allowing the 'other' David to continue acting, writing, and directing.

No matter which David is actually writing, I've been enjoying the posts here very much. It's a pleasure reading material written by someone who has more than a rudimentary command of the English language.

In re: the current canine theme, I offer the following; if you squint really hard and ignore reality, you might be able to accept my excuse that it's actually on topic.

All trees have bark.
All dogs bark;
Therefore, all dogs are trees.
The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree.

At 4:49 PM, Blogger Titanicia said...

Ok, was this a teddy bear that Elvis had or a teddy bear that looked like Elvis. Because if it was a bear that looked like Elvis that is just upsetting and odd. Maybe the dog thought that they all smelled like doggy treats. Maybe the dog thought that since, hell, he had destroyed one might as well destroy the others. Just some thoughts.

At 5:33 PM, Blogger Becky S said...

Hello David,

I can't think of any funny dog stories at the moment (although I know I have some funny stories rattling around somewhere in my mind) But I have one about another animal my family had for a time that thought it was a dog. A dog with two legs, feathers and named Donald.

We got Donald as a small duckling at a flee market. Once we had him home, we raised him in the house for a few weeks, then in the chicken coop. We would allow him in the yard only when someone from the family was with him so that the cats wouldn't make him lunch. Since we had two dogs at the time, they too guarded the duckling from the cats - chasing them off if they came too close. Donald kind of bonded with the dogs. He would even curl up with them to nap.

As Donald got older, he spent less and less time with the chickens and more time with the dogs. He walked around the farm with them, started chasing the cats with them, and kept them groomed and free of insects. He even got into the habit of quacking loudly to let us know that a strange car had come into the driveway.

He also tried to play fetch. The dogs made a game of seeing which one would get to the ball first and then return to the person who threw it. Donald tried his best not to be left out. He just couldn't run as fast as they could.

One day, he was trying to run but nearly fell over so he started using his wings to keep his balance. The next thing he knew, he had lifted off the ground and flew for the first time. This was the biggest surprise of his young life. He landed quickly, slowly walked back to us (sitting in the front yard) quacking the duck equivallent of "What the HECK just happened?"

It took a couple of more times of accidental flights before Donald realized that 1)This was not some strange thing that would hurt him and 2)He could fly faster than the dogs could run - at least short distances.

Soon he was letting them get head starts on fetch games, then he would fly out to the ball, quack at them for their tardiness, and fly back to the thrower 'winning' the game. He had, after all been the first one to the ball and back to the person who threw the ball.

I thought you might like that story. If I can remember any real dog stories I'll pass them on.

On a slight side note, David, I would like to thank you and everyone who works on Atlantis (in front of and behind the camaras) for all your hard work. It truely is a one of the high points of the week for both my boyfriend and myself. We are also loking forward to "A Dog's Breakfast" - can;t wait to see it. Treats (at least virtually) to Mars.

At 6:12 PM, Blogger Dale Who said...

A dog story young fella?

My dog is more intelligent than me. If I throw a stick or a ball, he'll waggle his ears at me and say something like "Throwing of ball for this unit to fetch is illogical, master."

He can track people far better than I can, and he's got a very efficient system for disabling any would be ne'er-do-wells, via a small metal tube in his nose and a bright red beam... but his batteries give out quite quickly.

He is of course rather famous, my dog; and last year a lot of people saw him in Brighton and took photo's of him... he's K-9 from Doctor Who! if you want to see him!

Best wishes to you David. Keep up the Blog!

At 11:02 AM, Blogger ShepsAngel said...

LOL. That story about the "priceless" teddies, was big news over here in the UK. I think it was on every news channel, and all the newspapers. Life is so exciting.

I just have to say that you are truly evil. How can you say something like that about an episode of Atlantis, and then not elaborate. Truly evil.

At 9:32 PM, Blogger vecturist said...

Enjoying the updates. LOL, I just have a cat who thinks he's a dog - likes to chew on shoes (thankfully they're all flip-flops so far), chases his tail (and is dismayed to find it's still attached), and thinks any food dropped/left unattended is his, particularly if it's Chinese takeout. Lucky for him he stays away from my morning capuccino. However, I can't convince him to earn his keep and nibble on various copies of my thesis or research, either.

At 7:34 AM, Blogger BorgTeddy said...

Hi David,

I was reading the newspaper today and on the frontpage it had a dogstory.

A six year old deaf girl got lost while walking a dog. The police tried to communicate with her but because it was hard because of her handicap.
They then had the idea to scan the dog. They did and found the dogs owner. This turned out to be the girls next door neighbour. And shortly afterwards she was reunited with her parents.

I love a happy ending :)

At 5:40 PM, Blogger mare serinitatis said...

I don't know if you've seen it, but this is a funny story. Some lady in China was trying to teach her dog to drive.

At 7:02 PM, Blogger Hatusu said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:04 PM, Blogger Hatusu said...

My last dog, Sophie, had passed away after a long happy life about 6 months earlier. I told a friend that I was going to Anti-Cruelty to adopt a new dog. My friend asked me how I picked my dog. I told her that I don't pick the dog, the dog picks me.

Wouldn't you know, I was looking at a Chow in it's cage when a volunteer brought a new dog in. I didn't notice until the dog, an 8 month old red Golden Retriever wrapped herself around my leg.

I looked down at her. She looked up at me with her big golden brown eyes, and I said, "I guess you're the one."

Eight years later, she's still my dog and I'm still her human.

Then there's the story of her first Halloween party when she attacked the dinosaur's feet... :-D

At 9:32 AM, Blogger Orlane said...

Thank you very much for posting. For the news. Euh... Hallowed are the dogs! My dog not play with toys... he EATS his toys. He is... a strange dog i think...

I'm sorry for my english I'm like Vive Les unas, I'm french (From the FFFDH).

At 12:49 PM, Blogger Paul G. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Paul G. said...

The only dog story I can come up with on the spot is a small entry on our Coffee Crew blog: 'Revenge of the Witness' Basically while we were all listening to our friend Joe ream out the take-out restaurant for screwing up our order, his dog decided to help himself to the snacks layed out for us in the den... naturally going for the snacks that could very well have killed him before going for the healthy stuff!

At 11:15 AM, Blogger Princesse Nutella said...

Oooooh I love this dog!!! he's very cute! and I love your movie! (and your blog, and you... :D)
But I don't understand all your entries (frenchs are very stupid you know :D) lool

At 9:40 PM, Blogger Taleya said...

Man, you should check out (if you haven't already)

More weird news than you can poke a pseudopod at :)

At 2:11 PM, Blogger alisha said...

The following is probably the best story I have ever heard, dogs or no dogs.

I know this girl, Chelsea, who has a friend who lives in Boston. Chelsea’s friend was house-sitting for some people in Quincy, which is just outside of Boston, but close enough to still be on the T (Boston’s subway system). The people who owned the house had a mastiff named Masty. Masty was very old, around 15 or 16 years. The house-sitting gig was for 3 weeks, but 2 or 3 days into it, Masty died. So the girl is terribly worried about what the family will say when they find out, but she finally works up the courage to call them. They tell her not to worry, that Masty was very old and it was probably his time to go. Just take care of the body, and don’t worry about it.

So she calls the vet. The vet says, “It’s not a problem. Just bring the body in, and we’ll take care of it for you.”

Only, the vet is in Boston, and she’s in Quincy, and she doesn’t have a car.

There’s only one thing for it. Masty will have to go on the T. Her boyfriend volunteers his largest suitcase, and she rolls Masty into it and zips it up. It’s one of those big rolling suitcases, so she rolls it up to the train. Now she has to get it from the platform onto the train. A mastiff, as you may know, is not a small dog. Masty probably weighs around 130 pounds. She’s struggling with the suitcase, trying to get it onto the train, when a man on the train offers his assistance. After a few more seconds of struggling, they get the suitcase onto the train. Now comes the inevitable. The man says, “That has got to be the heaviest suitcase I’ve ever seen. What do you have in there?”

Well, she can’t very well tell the guy that she’s taking a dead mastiff on the T, so she says, “I work for a computer store, and this is how we transport our computer parts, so they’re not too conspicuous.”

The guy says that this makes sense and they continue with their trip.

Four stops later, the guy turns to her, punches her in the stomach and steals the suitcase…with Masty inside.

At 5:29 PM, Blogger Erika said...

From the best of Craig's list...

A Week In The Doghouse
Date: 2005-05-01, 2:40PM PDT

Instructions for taking care of our dogs while we're away:


XENA a.k.a. Xenabean, Bean, Beanface, Face, Shepherdydog
Turn ons: Toys, bumping people/other dogs/cats with toys, barking at the basement ceiling, torturing the cats
Turn offs: The mailman, Sadie, anyone who comes to the front door

Xena is low-maintenance. She will be mopey and pathetic without us and will need lots of love. Love her.

The basement is Xena’s chosen realm. She would like nothing better than to stay down there all day barking at the monsters that live in the ceiling, but you can’t let her; she will become a mushroom. If we come home and find a mushroom in the place of our dog, we will be very sad, and you won’t be allowed to come and visit us ever again. To get Xena out of the basement, try any or any combination of the following:

Xena wants to eat the mailman. When he comes, she will stand at the front door with a toy, shake it menacingly and growl. DO NOT let her out when he is within two blocks of the house. We had an incident involving her launching herself at him through a broken window screen last year and didn't get mail for a week. It took a lot of ass-kissing to make up for that, and I'd rather not have to degrade myself that way again. In general, Xena will act as if she’s ready to eviscerate anyone who comes to the front door. This is handy when dealing with solicitors – just point to her, shrug and they’ll go away. Even the most dedicated Jehova's Witness isn't going to risk facing the gnashing teeth of the fierce-looking shepherdy-dog for your whithered little soul.

Xena does not want you to leave the house. Ever. She will attempt to stop you by bumping you repeatedly with a stuffed toy and growling. Just remember that this is all an act; Gund-related injuries are rare. Go ahead and walk out the door.

SADIE a.k.a. Sadiebear, Babybear, Fatty, Beagledog
Turn ons: Food, pinkbellies, food, brushings, food, the itchy spot by her tail, walks, treats, snacks and food
Turn offs: Being bumped by Xena, not getting food

Sadie’s easy except for the pooping (refer to the section below titled: THE BUSINESS). She loves taking walks, and if you feel like walking, she’ll go until she drops. Her harness and leash are hanging by the back door. She’ll start to howl as soon as you make a move for them, and will stop after you’ve gone about two blocks. It’s her way of telling everyone in the neighborhood, “I’m WALKING! Look at ME! I’m WALKING, I’m SNIFFING, I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! Does it GET any better than THIS?????? I’m a BEAGLE by GOD and I’m WALKING! LIFE IS SO FUCKING GOOOOOOOD!. Bring lots of bags; you’ll need them (again refer to THE BUSINESS section). If you encounter children on your walks, feel free to steer Sadie in their direction for greetings. We used to live near an elementary school and I’ve seen her with as many as eight small children on top of her at one time – she loves the attention. Just be careful if they’re holding any type of food product. To a beagle, a child with food is simply a delivery system for nutrients – kind of like the stick part of a corn dog. Useful, but disposable.

GRENDEL a.k.a. Gendelfriend, ‘lil Friend, Friendly Friend, Woobie, DACHSHUND!!! Turn ons: His woobie, nesting, laps, bedtime
Turn offs: Not being in a lap

Grendel pees; it’s what he does. When he pees, he’s saying, “I’m just a tiny dachshund, go ahead and dominate me. See how helpless I am? I’m peeing! I can’t hurt you; I can’t even control my own bladder”.

To avoid the peeing:
When you come home, save the greetings until you’re outside.
Don’t try to pick him up, ever. He’ll jump in your lap when he wants to, and he’ll want to any time you’re sitting down.
Don’t put your face close to him and yell DACHSHUND!!!!!!!! (The Boy does it quite often, and the result is always the same)

Grendel will be in your lap as much as you let him. He especially likes if you cover him with a blanket and let him make a little nest there. Keep in mind that he is virtually naked, so he gets cold and depends on human body heat to sustain him. Please don’t freeze the dachshund.


Sadie and Grendel are in love; Sadie and Xena are not. Sadie and Grendel like to snuggle under blankets on the living room chairs and take naps together. Sadie and Xena like to have stand-offs that consist of the two of them nose-to-nose and barking and growling at maximum volume for up to ten minutes at a stretch. Remember that famous cat-fight scene from Dynasty with Lynda Evans and Joan Collins trying to claw each other's eyes out in the fountain? Or was it a hot tub? Whatever. It's kind of like that but without the Bob Mackie gowns. If this happens, the best thing to do is either a) just get up and leave the room or b) stand up, point to the door of whichever room you’re in and say “OUT” in a loud, firm voice and until they both leave the room. DO NOT try to separate them. Trying to separate them is bad.


Dogs go outside first thing in the morning, right before you leave for work, right when you get home, and before bed. Xena is perfect, she never has accidents. Grendel rarely has accidents and will want to go outside as often as you want to let him.

Sadie gets her own section here. Sadie is a bad, bad dog when it comes to controlling her colon. In her defense, we discovered after the last trip to the vet (when she refused to poop for three days because the grass was wet and she didn’t want to step in it) that Sadie has the longest colon in the history of Beagledom. According to the vet, it is at least twice as long as any colon she has ever encountered (professionally speaking, I’m sure). Possibly because it is so long, it is almost always full and this causes her to have accidents. You will master the art of picking up poop by putting your arm in a bag, grabbing the offending substance, then turning the bag inside out for tying/disposal. We get the newspaper every morning and the plastic bags it is delivered in are ideal for this job. The long bags allow you to cover yourself up to the elbow in plastic, decreasing any accidental fecal-to-skin contact. Occasionally, you may face a liquid spill. The mop is in the kitchen pantry next to the garbage can. Ammonia is under the sink. I’m sorry. She has a problem, but I love her anyhow.

You can decrease the chances of befouling by making sure Sadie actually eliminates when she is outside. Go out with her, point to the yard and say, “Go potty” in a high, unnatural voice. You may have to walk into the yard a bit, then repeat this several times. You’ll feel like a complete asshole, but she’ll listen.


Sadie likes to snuggle under the covers if you read before turning in, but she must go in her Vari-Kennel™ when you’re ready to sleep. Just open the door and tell her “Go to bed” or “Get in the box” and she’ll go (usually with a pathetically theatrical sigh), and will usually go right to sleep. If she whines, it means she has to go outside again because she didn’t go the first time you let her out. Very, very rarely she’ll wake you up in the morning – if she does, she’s got to GO. For the love of god, take her OUT. That vet visit I mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago? Ended up being a $400 emergency room trip at 3 a.m. for a doggie enema. I’m sure you can understand why I’d like it to be the last of its kind.

Bedtime is Grendel’s favorite time. He will bring his woobie and dive under the covers. He’ll make a nest next to you/on top of you/between two parts of your anatomy and usually won’t move until morning.

Xena likes to patrol the house at night, so even if she sleeps upstairs, she will be on/off the bed throughout the evening. Sometimes she sleeps next to the bed, but if she sleeps on the bed she prefers the spoon position, and occupies approximately the same amount of space as a 300-lb. man. She also hogs the covers and is often flatulent in the evenings, so if you’re missing having a long-term relationship, a week with her should cure you completely.

Thanks again for taking care of our family. It seems like a lot of work, but trust me, it’s worth it.

At 4:45 PM, Blogger flamingsword said...

If you've never read the posting board about the Dogs In Elk incident, then you need to.Don't drink anything, and be sure to pass it along.

At 5:16 PM, Blogger saraichontal said...

hi david:
We have a dobermann, and at the present day he has already eaten 3 of my best dresses, one baseball glove from my brother, and one day my mother left her money at our coffe table and the dog eat it.
she was very angry because the dog cost her almost $500.00 us in one afternoon. It's amazing that we can keept the dog after that.

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Chuck said...

Your blog about funny cats is really informative, and has tought me a lot.

At 9:14 PM, Blogger CassieRodney said...

aww cute dog hey this is soo ur biggest fan. i always look forward to all the new eposodes, but i really upset about it being cancelled:( are u gonna be on stargate universe??? my name is cassie HAHA i talk about u all the time at school. we all put u in are projects. i know this is prob asked alot but can i please have a auto graph please conntact ne @ thanks:)

At 2:30 AM, Blogger Ruggles said...

No dog stories...but I do have a cat one.

My cat Lindsey: Terrified of the shower/tub. Howls. Won't go within 10ft if the water is running on full. In her youth actually scaled the wet glass door of the shower to escape a much-needed bath.

My friend, Mindy: Terrified of cats. Not really, but she's deathly allergic and believes that all cats instinctively know of her weakness and use it against her.

I thought it was all in Mindy's head until I heard that Lindsey had opened the bathroom door (she's tricky), sneaked into the bathroom, crawled into the bathtub and sat down...facing Mindy...who was showering. Mindy said the cat just sat there, looking at her, the cat being completely and continually drenched with the water that she hates so much. All, seemingly, just to tell Mindy that she could. If that's not sinster, I don't know what is.

At 12:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I'm in debt. How do I get out of it?" It's a common question these days, and a problem that's made no easier by today's economic troubles. But whatever debts an individual is facing, they're likely to have at least one debt solution available to them. Scottish Trust Deeds is similar to an IVA, but only available to residents of Scotland. In most cases, a Trust Deed will last for three years.

At 3:18 PM, Blogger Maulerdog Superstore said...

So I see you put a link that talks about my store. Thanks oh cute dog.

You should try this site

so you can promote you site more.

Thanks again


At 2:22 PM, Blogger Maulerdog Superstore said...

I do like that dog on your page since I'm a dog lover not a cat lover.



Post a Comment

<< Home